


For A Child's Happiness

by writewithurheart



Series: What It Takes [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, F/M, New Parents, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writewithurheart/pseuds/writewithurheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a tragic car accident leaves Sandra Hawke on the brink of death, her former roommate, Felicity Smoak, is called in to take care of her son, Connor, as his legal guardian. Putting aside her crazy life to step in, Felicity finds her life in a crazy whirlwind that threatens to sweep her away. Then she discovers something that has her whole world crashing down around her... </p>
<p>Update: Will be a two part story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. For a Child's Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt from user Vaneeta D on fanfiction.net: Felicity is Connor's God mother or Sandra Hawke's old friend and something happens to her and Felicity has to adopt Connor. Then it's only later they find out that he's actually Oliver's son.

**For a Child’s Happiness**

“Wait! What? I’m sorry. Could you repeat that?” Felicity frowns at her computer screen, or rather she scowls through it, brow furrowed in confusion, currently unaware of her surroundings or the billionaire tech genius once again holding court in her office. And this ranks low on the list of weird things he’s overheard her say on her phone. She’s not (currently) hacking anything after all, so it’s not incrimination thus far.

“Miss Smoak, I know this comes as a shock and is hard to deal with, but...” The male voice that introduced himself as Mr. Carns pauses at the other end of the line. He takes a deep, shuddering breath, bracing himself as Felicity waits on a knife’s edge for the rest of his sentence. “You’re needed in Central City, Miss Smoak. I’m afraid there’s been an accident. Last night, Sandra Hawke and her family were in an accident.”

Felicity stifles a gasp, eyes tearing up, her surroundings enveloped by while noise. “What happened? Is she okay? What about Connor? Jacob? Are they okay?”

The man at the other end draws another shaky breath. “This is a conversation I would rather have in person, Miss Smoak. As of right now, Ms. Hawke  is in critical condition and deteriorating. Her fiancé was found dead on arrival, and Connor was in the car, but he is stable. He only suffered a mild concussion and a broken arm. And that’s the reason I’m calling. Are you aware, Miss Smoak, that should something happen to Ms. Hawke, you become Connor’s legal guardian?”

Her sharp intake catches in the back of Felicity’s throat. Tears threaten to overflow her eyes as memories assault her.

She met Sandra Hawke her first year at MIT: August 2005. They were roommates, assigned by lottery to the same room. Sandra was there to study Brain and Cognitive Sciences while Felicity was engrossed in Computer Science and Engineering. She had been the outgoing brunette that dragged Felicity to her first college party. They had bonded over a mutual love of reading, getting jobs together at a local coffee shop as they got closer, eventually getting an apartment together off campus.

Then came the fateful summer Sandra got her internship in Starling City. Felicity never needled her friend for details, only acting as a friendly force when Sandra called about the unexpected pregnancy. They had talked on the phone for hours, as Sandra sifted through her options. In all their heart-to-heart conversations, Sandra avoided the topic of the boy’s father and Felicity never asked, even when Sandra’s parents disowned her and she moved into the apartment permanently.

With Felicity’s help, Sandra graduated MIT on time. They managed to work their schedules so someone was always home with baby Connor, and Felicity couldn’t help it; the boy grew on her. His constant teetering around the apartment, babbling away during her late night study sessions, was the source of most of her smiles in those early-morning hours. In 2008, when Connor was a year old and Sandra started worrying about his future, Felicity agreed to act as his guardian in the event that something should happen to her friend, but she had never imagined anything horrible could happen to her best friend, the strongest person she knew.

Hastily, she scrubs the now-fallen tears from her soaked face, drying her face with her long sleeves, sniffling as she stands, grabbing her bags. “Yeah...yes, I know. I’ll be there as soon as I can. You’re at Central City General Hospital?”

“Yes, Miss Smoak-“

“I’m leaving now.” She hangs up, tossing her phone into her bag without a second glance, grabbing her jacket before spinning back to face her now-worried boss. She falters for a moment, regaining her breath. “I’m sorry. I have to go. Family emergency.” She brushes past him, swiping away more tears that seem to fall faster the more she tries to hold them in. She only wants to get to Central City...now.

“Felicity!” Ray Palmer catches her arm, forcing her to turn around. She’s too preoccupied to yell, but if he tells her she can’t go, she will quit on the spot. His eyes hold surprising understanding. “Let me drive you home, so you can pack. You can take the jet. It’ll get you there faster.”

“No. It’s okay. I can just-“

“No. I insist. Besides, I’m heading to Central City today anyway for a meeting. And I don’t think it’s safe for you to be driving in your current state.” She nods slowly, allowing Ray to usher her into the elevator while her mind races ten steps ahead to what she’s going to do once she gets to Central City.

..................

It’s on the way to the airport that her phone rings and she lifts it to her ear without glancing at the caller ID, half fearing what she’s going to hear from the other end. “Hello?”

“Felicity? What’s wrong?” Her heart swells in warmth at how he knows something’s wrong with a simple word. She closes her eyes, finally finding something that can anchor her through her worry and grief: Oliver’s voice. It wraps around her like a warm blanket, calming her and slowing her heartbeat.

“I...there’s been an accident in Central City. I’m going to be out of town for a couple of days.” Her eyes lift to the ceiling. Things have gotten better between the two of them despite the forced distance since the date. They’ve almost gotten back to the place they were in before the Date From Hell.

“Did something happen with Barry?” His business voice sets in and she imagines him moving about the lair with renewed purpose, agitated and ready to head out with his bow.

“No...it’s not Barry. It’s an old friend...my college roommate. She was in a car accident. I’m headed there now. I’ll call you later.”

“Stay safe, Felicity.”

She nods into the phone aware he can’t see her. “I’ll call you tonight,” she whispers before ending the call and returning to her empty stare out the window. She feels Roy Palmer’s glance on her again, but she ignores it. Her packed bag is at her feet, but for the life of her, she can’t remember what she packed. 

The rest of the car ride and the flight blur into her mind sorting through the potential horrors she’ll face when she finally lands. Her phone isn’t showing any missed calls, which she takes as good news. Ray offers her a ride to the hospital, gesturing her into the waiting town car that perfectly matches the one they left in Starling City, but he’s too late and a charming nerd waves from the airport.

She races over to embrace Barry, tears stinging her eyes again as she buries her head in his chest. His arms wrap around her for a minute before turning to lead her around the building. As soon as they’re out of sight Barry glances sideways.

“I heard you’ve got to get to the hospital.”

She nods, smiling softly. “Yeah. Oliver called.”

Barry nods, winking. “He made me promise to keep an eye on you. Besides, I know the quickest route to the hospital.”

A gust of wind later, Felicity finds herself taming her hair outside the hospital, glaring at the smirking nerd beside her. “Maybe give a girl a little more warning next time.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Why don’t we just get you inside?”

“Right...” Barry joins her on the walk to the front desk, helpfully pulling her suitcase behind him. The receptionist barely spares them a glance, just continues tapping on her computer. Felicity chews her lip nervously as she waits for the woman to finish working. Heaven knows she hated when people wanting to talk to Oliver interrupted her in the middle of typing.

Barry next to her seems far more impatient, tapping his foot, checking his watch and phone, and gazing around the room until finally he leans over the counter. “Excuse me, miss. Can you help us?”

She swivels back to them with a bored look, popping a bubble of gum. With a bland smile, she eyes the two of them. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m here to see Sandra Hawke and her son, Connor.” Felicity returns the forced smile.

The woman glares at her, but types the names into her database. “Are you a family member?”

“I’m Connor’s guardian if anything happens to his mother.” She scowls at the disbelieving look thrown her way.

“I’m sorry, I can only give out that information to family unless you have proof of your alleged affiliation.” She waits with a sardonic smile for Felicity’s reaction.

Felicity grits her teeth, reaching into her bag for her phone. “I should be one of Connor’s emergency contacts. Can you check? Felicity Smoak? S-M-O-A-K.”

As the woman turns back to the computers, Felicity uses her phone to tap into their systems, activating the program she had created on the plane just in case she ran into this issue. She watches the bar as her device is granted access to the computer servers. The woman turns back before the program completes.

“Of course, Miss Smoak. Your name was added today by Miss Hawke’s attorney. Connor is upstairs on the third floor in the children’s ward, room 314.” Her face is twisted in an uncomfortable expression, almost pained at the release of information.

“Thank you.” Felicity pushes off the counter, aiming for the elevator.

“But your friend can’t go in with you.” She practically jumps over the counter to point at Barry.

He raises his hands in surrender. “It’s okay.” Felicity looks ready to tear the nurse apart. “It’s fine. I have to get back to work anyway. Call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Barry.” She stands on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek. Her hand wraps around her suitcase handle, but Barry pulls it away:

“Let me take your stuff. You can crash at my place while you’re in Central City. It’s not that far away.”

Felicity nods slowly, squeezing his hand. “You’re the best.”

“Maybe I’m just trying to steal you away from Oliver.” He winks, returning her squeeze. “Go check on the kid and your friend. And I’m serious. I’m a phone call away.”

She nods, stepping into the elevator as Barry waves, disappearing as the doors slide closed. The cold metal box seems more foreign and electronic as she moves up the floors with a man holding a fragrant bouquet of roses and a child grasping his mother’s hand and a teddy bear almost the same size as him.  

She’s the only one to exit on the third floor, immediately surrounded by bright primary colors. From the desk across from the elevator another nurse levels guarded eyes at her. She smiles at the older woman with her hair pulled severely back in a bun, but Felicity can see the kindness lurking in the back of her despite her stern countenance.

“Hi. I’m here to see Connor Hawke...” She taps her phone against the counter, her whole body seemingly pulsing with nervousness.

“You must be Felicity Smoak. He’s this way.” She maneuvers from behind the counter, leading Felicity down the hall, her heels clicking on the cool tile floor. Her heart breaks a little with each child she sees in a hospital gown or lying in bed, but she still witnesses the smiles on some of the kid’s faces and the colorful explosions of art decorating the walls that normally stand pristine white. She likes the hospital marginally better in color, she decides.

“He’s right here.” The nurse smiles as she gestures into the room.

Felicity hesitantly glances around the corner. She’s no stranger to medical instruments thanks to her night job. She’s had to stitch together more cuts, patch more wounds, and monitor more heartbeats than she cares to think about it. This is a boy she’s seen grow up, now seven years old. He shouldn’t be in a hospital where his mother is in critical condition. Taking a deep breath, she steps forward into the room and Connor’s bright blue eyes find hers.

“Aunt Lissy!” He clambers out of bed, red cast weighing down his right arm, but other than that and a couple of bruises on his face, he appears fine. She crouches down to hug him as his little seven-year-old arms wrap around her. “You came! They won’t let me see Mommy or Jacob.”

“Of course I came, Connor. Listen, I still need to talk to Mr. Carns about your mom and Jacob, okay? But I’ll be the one taking care of you for the time being. You and me.”

He nods slowly, worry clouding his little eyes. “Are they okay?”

“I’m not sure kiddo.” She glances around at a male cough in the doorway. She doesn’t recognize the man wearing the impeccable suit in the doorway. He’s an elderly gentleman, with salt and pepper hair and a receding hairline. “You must be Mr. Carns. Well, I guess you don’t _have_ to be, but I’m assuming you are from the suit and the lawyer-y feeling you give off. I’m sorry, is that rude? I didn’t mean it as rude. I was just stating a fact, like, you look very official. And I’m going to stop rambling...now.”

He nods tersely. “And you must be Miss Smoak. If you would join me, we have much to discuss.” He steps back, waving Felicity through the door.

She stands, but Connor grabs her hand with his left, clinging to her. “No. Don’t leave me.”

Once again, she drops down into a crouch, meeting him on his eye level. “Connor, this might not be good news. It’ll be better if you wait in here.”

“No!” He adamantly shakes his head. “I’ve been stuck here all night and no one’s telling me anything! I want to see my mom!”

Felicity draws him back into a hug, meeting Mr. Carn’s eyes over Connor’s head. “I think we should have this conversation in here.”

She can tell from his scowl, he disagrees, but she lifts herself and Connor on the starchy hospital bed. He slowly steps into the room, moving forward one foot at a time. He sits in the chair next to the bed, lowering his briefcase to the tile floor. Felicity’s arm remains wrapped around Connor’s shoulders as he burrows into her side. Carns spares the boy one last disapproving look before turning his attention to his guardian.

“Jacob Burns, Miss Hawke’s fiancé, passed away in the accident from blunt force trauma. Connor here made it through with a broken arm and is out of danger from his minor concussion. He can be released from the hospital at any time. Miss Hawke, however, has not improved. They managed to stabilize her, but right now it’s a waiting game. She has a shattered femur, a broken arm, several broken ribs, and multiple lacerations. She suffered from severe head trauma and sustained damages to several of her internal organs. Her brain is showing minimal activity. They are currently waiting for several organs from the donor list, but there’s no guarantee she will ever wake up so her priority is not highest on the list.” He glances sideways at Connor. “There’s a very good chance she won’t survive the night.”

A whimper escapes Felicity’s mouth, torn from her throat unwillingly, but she’s pulled back to Connor as his tears soak into her shirt. She rubs his back as he draws shuddering breath after shuddering breath.

“Can we see her?” Connor stiffens, head whipping around to Mr. Carns at Felicity’s words.

He frowns again at the woman sitting on the bed. “I really don’t think this is something Connor needs to see.”

“I want to see her!” He insists, jumping off the bed.

Carns scowls at the pair. Felicity glances at the little boy, recognizing steely determination in his stance. She reaches out to run her fingers through Connor’s hair. “Honey, are you sure you want to see your mom? She’s not going to look like she normally does. She’s not going to be able to talk to you. She got really badly hurt.”

He pauses, contemplating her words, even as he stands with a rigidly straight back. Then he nods. “I want to see my mom.”

“Alright then. We’ll go see your mom.” She stands, Connor’s hand slipping into hers as she waits expectantly for Mr. Carns. 

Reluctantly, he follows suit. “Miss Smoak, let me say this is a horrible idea. Children cannot cope with the type of damage Miss Hawke has sustained. _Don’t_ put Connor through his pain.”

She turns to him in the elevator. “Mr. Carns, when I was Connor’s age my dad left and I always thought it was my fault. Connor’s worried about his mother. He has a genius IQ. If he thinks he can handle this, I trust him.”

“He’s _seven_ , Miss Smoak. He’s still a child.”

“He wants to see his mother. I’m not about to deny that to a child.” Does she have her reservations about this? Yes, but if she had one last time to talk to her father, she would seize it. Granted the situations aren’t exactly or identical...or at all, but still. She thinks it will give Connor some closure. And if he freaks out, she’ll take care of him. After her father left, she had been forced to care for her mother during her downward spiral to the bottom of a whiskey bottle. She has faith in the kid’s resilience.

Mr. Carns seems to be a familiar face in the hospital, moving through the halls to the ICU with ease, unhindered by the moving hospital staff. He leads them right to a room, pausing with his hand on the handle, tapping the metal knob.

He glances at her one more time. “Perhaps you should go in first. I can keep Connor company out here.”

She glances down at the boy now clinging to her skirt, frowning in nervousness. “Why don’t you wait out here for a couple minutes, buddy?”

He nods, moving closer to Mr. Carns so Felicity can slip through the door. She stares at the gray of the door for a few moments before turning back to the whirring and beeping machines. She recognizes more of them than she cares to admit, or that she can admit to because that would lead to her less-than-legal nighttime job.

Her heart rate is slower than normal, and the machine monitoring her brain function is measuring a low hum. All her visible skin is mottled in varying shades of blue, purple, and red. She’s connected to more wires and machines than Felicity can count and she moves forward to touch her best friend’s fingers. Nothing changes as she brushes their fingers together. Felicity doesn’t know what she was expecting, a rise in pulse, a twitch in her fingers.

Her eyes fasten next on Sandra’s personal belongings on the table next to the bed. Her wallet and a damaged cell phone rest there, both beaten up, but whole. And next to them lies the engagement ring Sandra had sent her a zillion pictures of the day Jacob had finally asked her to marry him. Her phone had started ringing after getting the pictures and Sandra had talked for hours before hanging up at two in the morning. She runs her hand over the phone reverently, blinking back tears at her friend’s broken body.

“You know, this is the worst I’ve ever seen someone, and that’s saying something when you know what my night job is. And you should meet my boss. He’s pigheaded and a little oblivious, but he can also be sweet and adorable...and a complete ass, but he really does care. He’s the reason I was so mopey a couple weeks ago after that bad date. We almost got blown up, which is a whole story on its own. But that’s enough about me because you obviously have other problems...and I’m going to make sure that Connor is alright. No matter what happens to you. I promise that he’ll be okay.”

She grabs the tissues on the table, drying her eyes before she steps back outside the room to Connor and Mr. Carns. She crouches down to meet Connor’s eyes again. I want you to know, Connor, you don’t have to do this. Your mom is beaten up pretty badly. She’s not talking or moving, but she’s still there. She’ll understand if you don’t go in.”

He wraps his hand around hers and reaches for the doorknob. She opens it and the two walk in. Connor surprisingly remains stoic as he nears the bed, only his grip tightening on her hand indicates his distress. He lifts the hand with the cast and wraps his fingers around hers carefully. When he finally turns away his face is wet with tears. He throws himself into Felicity’s arms and she picks him up to walk them out of the room, rejoining Mr. Carns in the hallway.

“So...what happens now?”

He meets her eyes. “Now, you talk to her doctor.”

......

Felicity uses the keys from Sandra’s purse to open the apartment, letting the door swing open as she ushers a sleepy Connor in front of her. He makes his own way directly to his room, yawning as he goes while Felicity pulls out her phone.

The green LED blinks rapidly, heralding the mix of calls and texts she’s missed with her phone being turned down to silent for the last few hours. She barely glances at the history. She already knows the source of most of the calls, but instead of calling Oliver back, she first calls Barry, knowing it’s already a little late to be making a call at midnight. 

“Hey, Felicity! What’s up? Do you know Oliver’s freaking out because he hasn’t heard from you? You should probably call him.” Barry sounds anxious, a far cry from the sleepy human she expected to hear.

“Yeah, I’m well aware. But I just got to Sandra’s place. I figure I’d stay here with Connor while we wait for news on her condition. They’re waiting to see how she reacts in the next twelve hours before making any medical decisions, so Connor and I are crashing in their apartment.” She takes a deep breath. “Do you think you could bring my stuff over?”

“Done. I just need an address and I’ll be there in a flash.”

“Seriously? A _flash_? Really, Barry?”

He chuckles at his own joke. “Yup. So...address?”

With a roll of her eyes, she tells him the address, reading it off a piece of mail on the counter, staring at the name: Sandra Hawke. Wind buffets her as Barry and her suitcase appear next to her. She drops the mail and wipes ineffectually at her cheeks. Barry reaches out and pulls her into a hug. She buries her face in his neck finally letting herself give in to the sobs she’d been fighting all afternoon, through the doctor conversations and sitting beside her friend.

“Hey...hey...it’s okay.” He rubs circles into her back, whispering to her.

“Aunt Lissy?”

She pulls away from Barry to face Connor. He holds up a red shirt, frowning at his cast. “I can’t get it on.”

“I can help you with that, honey.” She kneels in front of him, stretching the sleeve of the shirt so it fits over the cast enough so he can pull the rest of the shirt on. Once it’s sitting properly, Connor turns his attention to Barry.

“Who are you?”

Felicity glances back at Barry awkwardly running his hand through his hair. “That’s Barry. He’s a friend. Barry, this is Connor.”

“A friend? Like how Jacob was Mommy’s ‘friend’?”

A flush spreads over Barry’s cheeks, but Felicity just laughs. “No. An actual friend. He was just bringing over my suitcase so I can change into my pajamas too. Barry lives here in Central City. He works with the police department.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Why don’t you go brush your teeth and then get to bed? I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll tuck you in as soon as Barry leaves.”  

Connor nods sleepily, moving back down the hallway, feet dragging against the carpet.

“You need to call Oliver. I send him a text telling him you were alive, but he’s going to want to hear your voice.” Barry warns. “You’d think the man was useless without you.”

Felicity straightens with a sigh, rolling her shoulders in a paltry effort to relieve some tension. “He is useless without me, Barry, and don’t you forget it. I’ll call him after I put Connor to bed. And thank you for everything, Barry.”

“What are friends for?” He comments with a smirk. “See you later. And if you need someone to watch him, I’m a pretty cool babysitter, if I do say so myself.”

She laughs. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good night, Felicity.”

“Good night, Barry.”

She locks the door behind him before moving down the hall. The walls are covered in pictures, almost all containing Sandra after Connor’s birth and none of her before college. Connor’s whole life is preserved on these walls, carefully categorized with love by Sandra over the years.

Connor’s room is painted blue with spaceship stickers still covering the walls along with glow in the dark stars from his astronaut phase when he was four. On his bed is a teddy bear she bought him for his third birthday, worn dirty, well-loved. She picks it up, smoothing out some of the ruffled fur as Connor comes back into the room, crawling into bed awkwardly, unused to the cast encasing his right arm.

After pulling the covers over himself, Connor reclaims the teddy bear. From the living room, Felicity hears her phone blaring with her Doctor Who ringtone. She groans. She should have left the thing on silent because now that Oliver knew she was talking to people he would undoubtedly be calling until she finally picked up, or he would find a way to get to Central City to check on her in person. Connor’s eyes are drawn to the hallway where the theme continues to blare.

“Do you need to get that, Aunt Lissy?”

“No. I can put you to bed first. And tomorrow we’ll head back to the hospital to check on your mom.” She runs a soothing hand through his cropped brown hair. He stares up at her from the pillow.

“What about school?”

She sighs. “I think we can give a day off school. We’ll hang out just the two of us. Maybe we’ll go get lunch with Barry after checking in on your mom.”

He nods.

“Good night, honey.” She leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“’Nite, Aunt Lissy.” The mumble is nearly swallowed by the thick fabric of his pillow as he drifts off into dreamland.

“Sleep tight, kiddo.” She flicks off the light in his room, walking slowly down the hall to her phone buzzing on the counter, Oliver’s face lighting up the screen.

She takes a deep breath before lifting the phone to her ear. “I’m okay.”

From the other end all she hears is a controlled exhale as the tension rushes out of him. She collapses into the couch, curling up into a little ball, wishing against all odds that he could be here with her, holding her, comforting her...she just wishes he was here, that he hadn’t kept a distance between them. She had stayed strong after their split, pushing him away because she couldn’t wait for him as much as her heart yearned to. This was a moment of weakness, one where she imagined wrapping her arms around him and letting him hold her up because she was just so tired of standing tall and being strong.

“You weren’t picking up.”

“I had the phone on silent.”

“You talked to Barry.”

She sighs. “I needed him to bring my bag to my friend’s apartment. And I had to put Connor to bed before I could sit down and talk.”

“Connor?”

“He’s my friend’s son...She...their whole family was in a car accident. Her fiancé died, she’s in critical condition and they don’t think she’s going to survive the night. The doctors said it would basically be a miracle. Connor has a broken arm, but otherwise he’s fine. And because of his situation, I’m now his legal guardian according to the state because I’m basically the only family Sandra had. Her parents disowned her when they found out she was pregnant and so I’m all Connor has, but no one should lose both their parents in one night. And I...I can’t lose her.”

The world around her is a blur of tears, her voice shaking as she finally voices aloud the thoughts plaguing her all day. All she wants is a hug, a touch, some human comfort, or barring that a pillow to smother against her chest as she uses it to suppress her cries.

“Felicity, I can be there on the next train...” His voice is strained through the phone, broken. “I’m leaving now.”

“No. Oliver, you have to stay. Starling needs the Arrow. I’ll be fine.” She strengthens her voice, adjusting herself on the couch, kicking off her heels, finally.

“Felicity...”

“If you come here, Oliver, I will send you right back. You sent me away, made me keep my distance, and you can’t come here just to hold me and comfort me when you still plan on keeping your distance. I can’t handle that on top of everything else. So I will be fine. And I’ll be back once this is sorted out.” Which may or may not be with a seven year old boy in tow...if she even came back, but she wasn’t about to bring any of that up.

He doesn’t say anything, but she can hear the tension returning to him as her words strike home. She knows him well enough to know he wants to argue, to convince her otherwise. It’s because he doesn’t want her hurting. He wants her safe, but life isn’t safe. Sandra’s situation confirms it.

He’s been making strides lately, trying to figure out how to be a normal person while still working his night job. He’s made it clear he wants more out of life, but they both know he’s still working on it and she’s not going to wait for him to be ready. They’ve both accepted it...Well, they’ve both acknowledged the idea in theory, but in practice, that’s a whole different story. They keep coming together unintentionally, like a magnets.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, Oliver. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Stay safe.”

“Mhmm. You too.” I love you. She can’t give voice to the last thought even as she can practically feel it through the phone lines. Even unsaid, the thought comforts her as she pulls the phone from her ear and hangs up. Fatigue overtakes her, pulling her into black oblivion.

........

Felicity picks at her mint chip ice cream and Connor chases Barry around the park after lunch. Her usual life-affirming flavor tastes like cardboard on her tongue. She can usually process her way through a pint on a bad day, but today is worse than her worst day. In the night, another of Sandra’s organs had started failing. Felicity had understood that much from the doctors before their jargon flummoxed her. All she knows that her friend is barely holding on and it’s only a matter of time before Sandra’s heart gives out.

God! She hates those words: a “matter of time.” She want to think that no matter what, her friend has a fighting chance, but she comes face to face with death and violence on a regular basis. The first time she found out Oliver was the Hood, his heart stopped beating right in front of her, but they had brought him back. Now she was facing the cold, hard reality that sometimes horrible things happened to good people in an unexpectedly personal way. She wasn’t stupid. She knew the world wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but Sandra had so much to live for, so much going for her. It really did happen at the worst time.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and without looking she lifts it to her ear. “Hello?”

“Miss Smoak...”

She closes her eyes against Carns’s somber voice. “She’s gone.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Smoak. Her heart gave out ten minutes ago. There was nothing the doctors could do.”

Blinking, she opens her eyes to her friend’s laughing child. Her tongue seems to have grown in her throat, swelling to prevent words as a choked sob escapes her. She blinks back the impending tears, refusing to lose her grip on them here in public.

“Her will already contains arrangements for her funeral, so you don’t need to worry about that. Jacob made sure she had everything taken care of just in case. He was one of the best lawyers in my firm, set to make partner in a couple of years. I can take care of everything on this end. But I’m afraid you are now Connor’s official guardian. Someone from Child Services will likely want to speak with you. And I know there’s no good time for these things to happen, in fact they rarely-“

“Mr. Carns, thank you for telling me, but I understand how Child Protective Services work. I...I just need to make some arrangements, to stay here for the funeral, to figure out what I’m doing with Connor, to tell Connor...Oh god, how am I going to explain this to him? Oh, god!” Her breath feels tight, constricted in her chest, unable to escape until she closes her eyes and forces herself to breathe out. She’s made it through far worse than this. “Thank you for calling me, Mr. Carns.”

“Jacob was like a son to me, and he loved Sandra and Connor. I owed it to them.”

She nods, hanging up. The hair on the back of her neck prickles, standing straight up. She lifts her eyes to Barry’s concerned look. He already knows what the phone call was. She’s pretty sure it’s written all over her face.

“Hey, Connor, why don’t we head home?” Felicity suggests, wincing at the crack in her voice as she stands from the park bench, melted ice cream long forgotten.

He frowns, but nods, reaching out to grab her hand as they walk the couple blocks back to the apartment. Her head spins a million miles an hour, sifting through everything she could possibly say, everything she can say, and everything she shouldn’t say at all costs. This is one conversation she really doesn’t want to have, one she hoped never to have.

.......

In the end, Connor Hawke doesn’t cry at the news. He stares stoically back at her, eyes blank as he tugs his teddy bear closer. Felicity pulls him into a hug that he returns, but tears never fall from his eyes. Two days later at the funeral, he lays a rose on her coffin and another on Jacob’s, silent as a statue the entire time, clinging to his Aunt Lissy’s hand.

It’s a quiet service, not many people showing up, not even his absent grandparents. Sandra was outgoing and vivacious, a ball of energy to rival her son, but only a few college friends and Jacob’s colleagues attend. Mr. Carns takes care of the Eulogy, and Felicity sees he was a surrogate father to both Jacob and Sandra.  He really cared for them as tears fall down his face, weaving into his mustache.

In another two days, Connor’s things are packed in a car, Felicity driving them back to her home in Starling after a long internal debate, an even longer discussion with CPS, and some advice from Detective Lance. She’s finally headed back home with a silent Connor in tow.  

.......

“So I know this place isn’t that big and we might be a little cramped, but I’m looking for a bigger place already, one with a good school and at least two bedrooms. I’ve been contemplating a little house with a yard, you know? I’ve been thinking we should get a dog. I’ve always wanted a dog. A big one too, not one of those tiny purse dogs; those things freak me out. They’re like decorative rats.”

Connor rolls his eyes at his aunt as he helps unpack the last of his mother’s photo albums onto the coffee table.  Felicity notices, but smiles good-naturedly. She hadn’t thought they would be able to unpack everything all at once, but Connor had helped with everything and she had even coerced Roy into moving heavy boxes around and setting Connor’s bed up in the tiny room she had used as her closet. Technically, according to the floor plan it’s supposed to be a bedroom, but the only size bed it could fit and still have room to move around was the twin size that Connor owned. It did however work well when it came to containing the fancy dresses she had upgraded to when she became Oliver’s EA...dresses that were now very much homeless and strewn all over her bed.

“Jacob was allergic to dogs so Mom always said we couldn’t get one.”

Felicity pauses in moving the empty boxes into a corner of the living room. She glances backwards, expecting tears in the boy’s eyes, but he sits on the floor, flipping through the photo albums. He hasn’t cried yet. She would be concerned if she hadn’t seen him beating up Jacob’s punching bag when he thought she was asleep. He’d also taken to talking to his bear as if it was Sandra.

He lifts his eyes to hers, a clear and penetrating blue. “I’d like a dog.”

Felicity nods, turning back to her boxes. “So someplace with a yard, then. That narrows it down.”

“Aunt Lissy...what happens now?”

Setting the last box on the stack, Felicity turns back to Connor, flopping on the couch and pulling Connor into her lap. “Well...you’re going to be living with me now, and that comes with a whole lot of people who are going to look out for you. We’ll get you into a good school. You’ll make new friends, and I made Barry promise to visit too.”  

Connor looks up at her. “No. I mean _now_ now. I’m hungry. Can we get something to eat?”

“Sure, buddy,” she chuckles, shaking her head at the misunderstanding. She wraps her arms around his waist, hugging him. “What do you want to eat?”

“A cheeseburger.”

The chuckles turns into an all-out laugh. “Great! I know the perfect place. Go grab your jacket and we can head out!”

He hops off her lap, racing off to find his jacket. She rises from the couch, stretching her overworked back as her phone rings on the counter. She lifts it to her ear without looking, already knowing exactly who’s on the other end.

“Hey, Ray. Yes, I am back. We just finished unpacking.”

“Glad to hear it. I could use my head of Applied Sciences back in the office. Things haven’t been the same since you left. How did you manage to make yourself so indispensable to this company?”

Felicity glacnes back as Connor comes racing back, green, fleece jacket firmly in place. “I am one of a kind, but this head of Applied Sciences will have a new assistant tagging along if you expect her to be in tomorrow.”

“The kid is welcome to come. I can show him around, let him play with all the cool toys...” She rolls her eyes at his teasing, playful tone, grabbing her own blue pea coat.

“Okay, then. He’ll be coming with me and I’ll see you tomorrow.” She pauses. “Did you call about anything else?”

“I just wanted to check in, make sure my computer genius was okay. There may be a stack of papers on your desk, but none of it exceedingly important.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“Goodbye, Miss Smoak.” The line clicks off and she frowns at the abrupt conversation. She turns back to Connor, slipping her arms through the coat sleeves. “You ready to go, kiddo?”

He nods, bouncing on the balls of his feet as she closes and locks the apartment door. Connor drags her by the hand to her car, eagerly climbing into the backseat and buckling himself in. Felicity smiles at him in the rearview mirror before pulling out into the street, navigating the streets to Big Belly Burger.

“You’re going to love this place, Connor. They have the _best_ burgers in Starling City. And you have to try a milkshake,” she babbles as they climb from the car. She doesn’t spot Digg’s car so she knows her boys aren’t here.

Roy disappeared after helping out and she sent Digg a text saying she’s back. He responded with another picture of baby Sara, proving himself to be the biggest sap when it comes to his little girl.

Connor slides into a bright red booth, and Felicity sits opposite him, setting her menu aside as she already knows what she wants. She really has been eating here too much. She purses her lips, watching him carefully as he flips through the menu.

“So...what do you want? A cheeseburger and curly fries?” He nods. “Soda, water, or a milkshake?”

He frowns as he thinks about it before nodding decisively. “A chocolate milkshake!”

Felicity laughs. “Sounds delicious.”

A shadow falls across the table and Felicity turns to smile up at the waitress, instead finding Oliver looming over the table, a mixture of relief and worry in his eyes. Unconsciously, her smile brightens. “Hey, Oliver.”

A returning smile blossoms on his face, tension ebbing away from his shoulders. “You didn’t tell me you were back.” He turns to the younger boy watching him with wide eyes. “And you must be Connor.” He nods slowly and Oliver grins. “Hi, Connor. My name’s Oliver. I’m a friend of Felicity’s.” He throws her a wink and her breath catches in her throat.

She loves seeing him playful like this. After taking down Slade, she got to see it more and more, but it vanished when Sara died. Now it’s making its reappearance and it’s leaving butterflies in her stomach, the good kind of butterflies, the kind that leave her smiling to herself when she thinks about him.  

“Friend? Like Barry?”

Felicity bites her bottom lip as annoyance flits through Oliver’s eyes, vanishing in a second to be replaced by mischief. He smirks at Felicity and her heart speeds up. “Well, I’m more fun than Barry.”

Connor frowns doubtfully. “Really? I don’t know. Barry ran around with me.”

Oliver smirks at the joke Connor obviously doesn’t know. “Well, why don’t I join you and convince you of my awesomeness?”

“I don’t know.” Connor turns to Felicity for permission.

She jokingly contemplates Oliver for a moment. “Hmmm...,” she taps her chin. “What do you think, Connor? Does he look fun enough?”

He frowns at Oliver, mirroring Felicity’s contemplative expression. “What’s your favorite color?”

Oliver raises an eyebrow at the question. “What? If we like different colors, we can’t be friends? That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Just answer the question, mister.” Connor glares, attempting a stare down only lacking in the stature to intimidate the Arrow.

“Green. What’s yours?”

“Red. Just like Barry.”  

“But you’re wearing a green jacket now,” Oliver points out.

Connor frowns at his jacket and then holds up his cast proudly. “But this is red!”

“Oh! Wow. A red cast! That must mean it’s really your favorite color.” Oliver slides into the booth next to Connor. “So why’s red your favorite color?”

“Because it’s the Flash’s color and he’s a hero.”

Oliver stares at Connor in surprise and Felicity is struck by the similarities between the two. She shakes her head because it’s a crazy thought. Then she pauses, taking a closer look between the two. And the more she looked, the more convinced she became that she was on to something. It was the eyes, she decided. Connor has the same riveting eyes as Oliver. She knew they looked familiar. But what were the chances?

Then, of course, her mind not one to let things go, Felicity remembers walking in on Sandra crying as she stared at an article about the sinking of the Queen’s Gambit, only to have Sandra turn around and tell her that one of the crew members had been a family friend. And then there was Sandra’s general distaste for anything Queen-related, a dislike she had made clear when Felicity took her job in the IT department of Queen Consolidated. But she can guarantee that Oliver knows nothing about any kids. He admitted to her one night about a couple of pregnancy scares back in his playboy days, but he said no kids. Then again, if Felicity knew anything about Moira Queen, it was that she would go to any lengths to protect her family...and that would explain the money in a trust fund for Connor...

She shakes her head, trying to disperse the thoughts rapidly starting to click together. The waitress comes over and Felicity orders as Oliver and Connor debate the finer aspects of superheroes. 

Her phone chimes and she lifts it to check the texts.

            Thea: Is my brother with you?

She types the affirmative and bites her lip before taking a picture and sending it too. She taps her fingernail on the phone as she waits for a response, smiling distractedly when Oliver throws her a questioning look. She doesn’t want to believe it, but... Another chime.

            Thea: Cute. Who’s the kid?

            Felicity: My friend’s son.

She doesn’t have to wait long for a response.

            Thea: Really? Who’s the father?

            Felicity: She never told me

Which is starting to look pretty damning to her right now. She grimaces at the text as she hits send. Her purpose in sending the picture was to get Thea’s thoughts on the matter. Somewhere deep inside, she was hoping Thea would deny any resemblance.

            Thea: How old’s the kid?

Felicity closes her eyes. Damn. Thea’s on the same page as her. She blinks.

            Felicity: Seven.

            Thea: You know, he does look a lot like Oliver at that age.

            Felicity: And I was hoping you would deny it.

            Thea: Exactly like Oliver

The accompanying picture is as damning as any DNA test. If she didn’t know any better, Felicity would swear she was staring at a picture of Connor. The breath leaves her body and her thoughts spin out of control. No wonder Sandra had refused to tell her. If Moira was involved, she was sure Sandra had signed some non-disclosure agreement to get that money for Connor. Crap.

“Felicity.”

Oliver’s hand squeezing hers draws her back into the conversation. “Hey, you okay?”

Her forced smile isn’t fooling him, clearly, but he lets it go. “Connor was just telling me that he loves comic books and superheroes.”

Felicity nods. “You should see the boxes in my apartment full of them.” Roy had loudly complained about their weight the whole walk from the car to her apartment, as if she didn’t know from carrying them to the car in Central City.

“Jacob and I collected them together,” Connor announces proudly.

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah.” Sadness trickles back into his eyes as he slouches again.

“Hey, Connor, did I tell you that Starling has its own heroes?” Felicity sips from her soda, watching Oliver’s raised eyebrow as Connor brightens.

“Really?”

“Yeah, he’s called the Arrow.”

“Does he have superpowers like the Flash?”

Felicity chuckles, wondering if this is what a younger Oliver was like before the parties and the drugs, before he discovered girls. “No. He stops criminals with a bow and arrow. He saves lives and in the past two years, he’s stopped two mad men from destroying the city. And he did all that without superpowers.”

“Wow! That’s so cool!” Connor bounces in his seat, eyes wide.

Oliver settles back into his seat. “Cooler than the Flash?”

Connor nods vigorously. “Can we meet him?”

“I don’t know about that, kiddo,” Felicity sighs, glancing at Oliver with his shit eating grin. He’s going to rub this in Barry’s face, she has no doubt. Somehow this whole conversation ended up going straight to his head. God knows he doesn’t need the ego boost. “Most people only spot him at night or when they’re in danger, both instances that I’m hoping we avoid.”

He frowns, crossing his arms over his chest awkwardly around his cast. Oliver chuckles and Felicity groans internally. Why does she get the feeling that she and Connor are going to run into the vigilante sometime soon?

“Hey guys!” Thea’s chipper voice snags her attention as the nineteen-year-old drops into the open seat next to Felicity. “Fancy running into you here!”

Connor stares at her, suddenly shy as she beams at him.

“Thea? What are you doing here?” Oliver asks, frowning as worry overtakes him. “Is something wrong?”

She waves her hand in his general direction. “Of course not. Everything is fine. I was just hungry.”

Felicity snorts in disbelief. Thea’s here because of that picture. She wanted to see the duo in person. Oliver frowns, eyes darting between the two women, knowing that he’s missing something.

“So are you going to introduce me to the munchkin?” She smiles at Connor.

“Thea, this is Connor. Connor, this is Thea, Oliver’s little sister.” Felicity offers them both a smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, Connor,” Thea offers, proffering her hand for a shake. Connor reluctantly obliges, still staring.

“So, Connor, what are you doing here in Starling City?”

Felicity steps in as she witnesses Connor crawling back inside his shell. “I’m Connor’s legal guardian. His mother passed away.”

Her eyes widen at the mistake. “Oh. I’m sorry, Connor. My mom passed away six months ago, so I know it’s hard to deal with. You know what helps?”

Felicity rolls her eyes as Connor shakes his head. She really hopes this doesn’t involve copious amounts of retail shopping. She may have made progress in getting the Queen fortune back, but Thea and Oliver still needed to be on the thrifty side. 

“Working out.” Felicity raises her eyebrows, turning to face the teenage girl in surprise. That’s an answer she would expect from Mr. I-drill-the-Salmon-Ladder-until-I-can’t-feel-anymore. “After my mom passed, I cried a lot and I felt weak and small, but then I decided that I didn’t want to be weak anymore. So I started doing all sorts of stuff. I ran and I took martial arts lessons. I worked at a coffee shop, but I think you’re a little young to be doing that. If you want, I’m sure we could find you a karate place around here or something.”

Connor beams back at her. “Cool! Can we, Aunt Lissy? Can we?”

“Yeah, I’m sure we could, kiddo.” 

“Yes!” Connor goes back to bouncing on the seat as their food arrives. Thea immediately starts stealing Oliver’s fries.

“Hey!” He lightly smacks her hand away.

She sticks her tongue out in return, but reaches over and starts taking them from Felicity’s plate. Felicity, in turn, glares at the girl. “So, Thea, I’m surprised you’re not with Roy.”

Thea smirks. “I was, but then I got an interesting text and had to visit a friend. And then I saw you guys so here I am.” She waves her hands around to indicate their general area.

Oliver frowns, eyes darting between his sister and Felicity, but he lets it go to dig into his food, still fooling around with Connor. Thea leans back against the booth and nudges Felicity with her elbow. Felicity glances sideways, expecting another smirk from the girl, but instead finds a somber expression on her face.

“I think you’re right, but you would need to do a test to be sure,” Thea whispers, eyes lingering on Connor. “Although, I do think the three of you would make the cutest family,” she confesses in a barely-there whisper.

Felicity’s face heats up as she swats at a giggling Thea.

“Something you want to share, Thea?” Oliver finally asks. Felicity covers her mouth to stop laughter from escaping at the impatience in his eyes.

She shakes her head. “Nothing. It’s just that since Felicity has to work tonight, I thought Connor and I could hand out. Maybe watch a movie, eat some pizza, some popcorn. What do you think?”

Connor glances at Felicity and she sighs. She’s not sure she wants to leave Connor alone with anyone else, but they could probably use her in the lair too. Since Thea was let in on the secret, Felicity had been working to teach her how to run the computers, but Thea was still learning and they could probably use her if Oliver’s torn expression was anything to judge by.

“Sounds good to me. Does that sound fun, Connor?”

He nods, shyly. 

“Yes!” Thea fist-pumps. “Score one for Aunt Thea!”

Felicity stares at her in shock, but Thea ignores her. “And another thing, Connor. Call me Aunt Thea. I think it has a nice ring to it. Plus, with Felicity taking care of you, I’m basically just another aunt anyway.”

Connor nods, seemingly unable to do anything else under the onslaught of Thea’s charm.

“Great! So what movies do you want to watch tonight? Got any favorites?”

He shakes his head.

“Well, what do you like?”

Oliver smirks. “He likes superheroes.”

Thea rolls her eyes. “Of course he does,” she mutters under her breath. Felicity can’t help the smile that creeps up then, glad that someone else is amused by that revelation, but as their discussion continues, her mind runs through her afternoon. Sometime today she’s going to have to figure out how to run that DNA test. She can’t deny the evidence of her eyes, but she needs hard proof too. And god, she’s going to have to figure out what she’s going to do with this. Oliver deserves to know. Sigh. Her long week just got even longer.

........

Felicity stumbles back into her apartment at midnight, pulling her tablet from her purse as she heads towards the glowing light of her living room TV. Thea glances up from the end of the couch, Connor notably absent.

“He’s already in bed.” Thea points down the hall, correctly guessing the source of the blonde’s worry.

Slinking to the doorway of Connor’s room, Felicity peeks through the door, relaxing as she sees him curled up in bed, cuddling with his teddy bear. She slips across the hall into her own room, kicking off her dirty moving clothes, the ripped jeans and ratty MIT t-shirt. In its place she pulls on an oversized Doctor Who t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants before joining Thea to watch _The Avengers_.

“How’d it go tonight?” Thea asks quietly as the Hulk chases Black Widow across the screen.

She sighs. “Fine. We got the guy. How was Connor?”

“He’s an angel. We watched a bunch of superhero cartoons, ate pizza and popcorn, just like I promised.” She pauses. “Did you do the test?”

Felicity leans forward, snagging the tablet off the coffee table. She stops before typing in her password, tapping the black screen instead of unlocking it. “I haven’t looked at the results yet.”

Thea nods in understanding, eyes fixed on the computer in the blonde’s hands. Felicity follows her gaze, staring at the reflective black surface with growing trepidation now that she finally has the time to think.

“What if this confirms it? How will I tell Oliver?” Her eyes stretch wide in panic as she finally voices her fears aloud. “Oh, god! My best friend had a child with Oliver! My best friend from college and Oliver my...well, I don’t know what to call him, but OH. MY. GOD. What are the chances? How likely is it that I managed to fall in love with my best friend’s baby daddy? What do you think Oliver will do when he finds out? What if he doesn’t want anything to do with Connor? What-“

“FELICITY! Calm down. You haven’t even looked at the results yet.” Thea’s hands are wrapped around her wrists, waiting as Felicity breathes away her freak out. Then a smirk lifts the corners of her mouth. “So...you love my brother.”

“You heard nothing, Thea Queen,” she counters, brandishing an intimidating finger jab, turning her attention back to her tablet and clicking on the notification with the paternity test. She needs to read this, even if she doesn’t want to right now. Her eyes meet Thea’s for strength before reading the results of the test and cementing her fate.

She lets out a rush of breath as she reads the words. “It’s a match.” Her eyes return to Thea’s as the relief of knowing eases the tension in her body. The words that come out of her mouth are full of wonder. “Oliver is Connor’s biological father.”

She slumps against the couch, allowing Thea to take the tablet and read the results for herself.

“Damn,” Thea comments softly, staring at Felicity, movie forgotten in the background as they face the consequences of this knowledge.

“Uh-huh.”

The two women stare into space from opposite ends of the blue couch, absorbing the now-undeniable truth. The discovery hovers in the air, neither good nor bad, only a dull threat of the upheaval that will undoubtedly follow this revelation. 

Felicity flashes back to her last visit to Central City in October when she had gone to visit Barry. She had broken down and told Sandra about everything going on with Oliver: not the Arrow-stuff, just everything else. She confessed about the date and their friendship and the ever-present ‘I love you’ that followed her everywhere.

And Sandra had listened to all of it. Knowing now that Connor is Oliver’s son, Felicity can’t fathom how Sandra managed to give her good advice, good counsel when it came to the man who impregnated her after a one night stand. Her friend wasn’t bitter. She can still hear her friend’s words:

_“Look, Lissy, I don’t get it. I don’t see what you see in him. I really don’t, but I’ll tell you what I do know. I know_ you. _You, Felicity Smoak, are the best judge of character I have ever met. Anyone who earns your trust, your_ loyalty _is someone worth sticking by. But you’re right: he pushed you away and you shouldn’t just wait around until he gets his shit together. You’re strong and powerful, and you deserve someone just as great. And I have no doubt you’re going to find the perfect person, because when you fall in love, you fall deep and any man who doesn’t value you is an idiot, especially Oliver Queen.”_

_“But he does value me,” Felicity objects._

_Sandra rolls her eyes, shaking her head. She smiles softly. “He’s lucky to have you.”_

_“He’s a good man. He just...he’s trying to figure out who he is now.” Felicity bites her lip, trying to pick out the right words without revealing Oliver’s secret. “He’s a good man.”_

_Sandra reaches out and squeezes Felicity’s hand. “I know. He wouldn’t have your heart otherwise. I just hope he realizes it before he loses you for good.”_  

Felicity finds herself wondering exactly what would have happened if Sandra was still alive and Oliver found out. She likes to think Sandra would have been okay with him, the man she knew he was, the man she knew he could be. 

“You have to tell him.” Thea turns to her, kneeling on the couch as she takes Felicity’s hands in her own. “It has to be you.”

“Me? Why me?” Felicity’s voice rises in panic. “Why can’t you do it?”

“He’ll take it best if you’re the one who does it.”

Felicity scowls at Thea, turning away to face the movie, upset because she knows Thea’s right. She can talk Oliver through everything, but what if this puts back another couple steps? She can’t do that.

“He needs to know, Felicity. We can’t keep this from him.”

“I know, Thea!” Felicity jumps to her feet and starts pacing, chewing on her bottom lip as her mind runs around in circles and circles of scenarios. She’s not going to be able to hold this in for long. She can just see herself blurting it out in the middle of work. Honestly, it’s time like this when she isn’t sure how she manages to keep Oliver’s secret. Then again, the only thing keeping this a secret does is create divisions between people who care about each other.

Glancing at the clock, she walks back to her room, pulling on a bright tank top and open sweater in place of her pajama shirt. She shoves her feet back into her hot pink converse. Thea stares at her from the open door. She nods as Felicity looks back at her.

“I can watch Connor. I might crash on the couch, but I’ll stay here tonight.”

“Yeah, help yourself to anything. I’ll be back...eventually.” Felicity flounders for a moment before grabbing her bag as she moves out the door. Her mind is all over the place, thoughts flying at a thousand miles per hour. The roads pass in a blur until she finds herself parked behind Verdant, staring at the back door to the club with its keypad.

He’s probably down there. Or at least she hopes so. She takes a deep breath, turning off the car and stepping out. Her footsteps echo around the alley in the darkness. It sounds different now, as she walks alone. Normally she gets an escort from one of her boys at night. She quickly punches the code into the keypad, thankful the lights are still on as she moves down the stairs.

She can hear the metal clang of the salmon ladder. She crosses her arms, enjoying the view as she stops on the last step, smiling softly.

“I thought you were going to be spending less time down here,” she calls.

Oliver glances over his shoulder, hanging by one hand from the bar of the salmon ladder. He smirks, dropping to the floor. “I just had a little extra steam to blow off. I thought you headed home.”

“I did.” She steps down to the concrete floor, staring up at a shirtless, sweaty Oliver. Right now, without her heels he seems taller than she remembers, but it’s not intimidating right now. Instead, it’s sending pleasant butterflies to her stomach, very different from the ones already there from the secret she has to share. “I had to come back. We need to talk.”

He frowns, that adorable one where his brows pinch together in the middle of his forehead. He reaches for her shoulder, gripping it lightly. “Is something wrong?”

“No...not exactly.” She steps past him to her computers, dropping her purse into her chair and extracting her tablet. She pauses, staring in the other direction.

“What is it, Felicity?” His hand brushes up her arm, moving to cup her face as she turns around. His blue eyes pour into hers.

Those eyes. Those beautiful eyes. How did she not notice before? They’re exactly the same. She reaches up and rests her hand on his on her cheek. She intertwines her fingers with his, staring at their hands as she gathers the strength to speak, borrowing some from him.

“Oliver...do you remember, from about eight years ago, a girl named Sandra Hawke?” Her voice shakes on the name. She watches him tense, finally raising her eyes to Oliver’s.

He nods slowly.

She takes a deep breath, one hand clenching around the tablet clutched to her chest. “You had a one night stand with her.” She swallows slowly, “before the island. She got pregnant.”

Oliver shifts. “I remember. She lost the baby.”

Felicity closes her eyes. She hates that she has to do this, that it has to be her. She doesn’t know how he’s going to react. Another breath. “No. She didn’t. Your mother paid her off. She told you she lost the baby, but she didn’t. She couldn’t terminate the pregnancy.” The puzzle pieces are all coming together, pulling her back to her sophomore year of college.

“How...”

“I know all this because she was my roommate at MIT. I mean, she didn’t tell me it was you. She just told me it was a one night stand and that the father wasn’t going to be involved. Her parents disowned her, you know. She had a tough time getting through school, but she made it.” The tears are back and she can’t look him in the eye anymore. 

“Hey, hey, Felicity, breathe.” His hands are massaging her shoulders and she closes her eyes against the onslaught of emotion.

“Oliver.” Her voice cracks on his name and he pauses in his ministrations. “I figured it out today in Big Belly Burger when you sat next to him. You two just looked so similar. I thought, ‘no, that’s impossible’ but Thea took one look and she saw it too. So...” She pulls up the report on her tablet again. “I did a paternity test just to make sure.”

He slowly takes the tablet, one jerky motion at a time, staring blankly at the screen.

“Sandra died earlier this week. Connor is her son. He’s _your_ son.”

His head jerks up, lips parted in surprise. She can see the questions in his eyes.

“The test confirmed it.” She nods to the tablet.

“She didn’t lose the baby?”

Felicity shakes her head. “Nope.”

“Connor?” She nods again and Oliver turns away, running his hand over his jaw. She lets him have his moment, still watching him carefully.

Finally, he chuckles darkly, turning back to her. She raises her eyebrows and waits for him to speak. He takes his time walking back over to join her. “We had a thing while I was still with Laurel. I was...Ollie. When she told me, I was trying to figure out what to do, what I wanted to do, what I should do. I talked to my mother and she told me not to worry. Next thing I knew, Sandra was calling me and saying she lost the baby. And then I left on the yacht...”

She nods, not needing him to continue.

“So what now?” Oliver asks quietly, handing the tablet back to her.

“Well...” She takes a deep breath. “As his father, you have parental rights, which you can claim because Sandra passed. I haven’t officially adopted him yet, so you can just do that. We don’t have to tell him at all, if you don’t want. It’s really up to you and what you want. Sandra told you she lost the baby so the case should be fairly easy to win. If you want to...what do you want Oliver?”

He takes a deep breath, lifting his hand once again to her cheek. “When she told me, I freaked out, but I wanted to do the right thing. And now...” His face shifts into a sad smile. “Now, I want to do this. I want to be there for Connor...my son.” He pauses in wonder at the word, wonder that shifts into a smile. “No, I don’t know how it’s going to work, but I said I wanted more than this life.” He looks around the basement. “And I like the kid. I want to get to know him better. I want...”

His voice trails off as he stares at her, emotion stirring deep in his eyes. She’s drawn in, lips parting as his thumb runs over her cheek, rubbing in circles.

“Oliver...” She wants it. She wants to kiss him again, to recapture those stolen moments in the hospital. She wants it so much her heart aches.

“I know right now everything is crazy right now, especially for you, and I’m working things out, but I want to do something more, build something for myself outside of this basement. I want a kid, I want...I want you, Felicity.”

Her breath catches as he rests his forehead on hers, staring into her eyes. 

“I want to spend every minute of every day with you. I want to hear all your babbles. I want to be there for every inappropriate statement that makes you blush when you realize what you said. I want to be by your side for everything. I’m still not sure how, but I know what I want and I’m going to make it work, with you and with Connor.”

“Oliver-“

“Felicity, don’t ask me if I’m sure. I am. And I’m not turning back.” He moves the last couple inches separating them and presses his lips against hers. Just like in the hospital, his hands cup her face, but this time she’s not going to pull away. This isn’t goodbye, not this time. It’s like coming home.

She runs her hands up his chest to wrap behind his neck, stepping closer. He deepens the kiss as she opens her mouth to him, moving his hands down her body to her waist, pulling her flush against him. A whimper escapes the back of her throat and Oliver chuckles into her mouth, pulling away enough to break the kiss without stepping away.

“I’ve wanted that since the hospital,” he breathes into the air between them.

Her smile couldn’t leave her face if she wanted it to. Oliver grinning down at her really isn’t helping. If he keeps it up, she’s going to have heart palpitations. Oliver wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer.

“So Felicity, what do you say another date? One that I promise won’t end with an explosion.”

She doesn’t quite trust her voice just yet, so she nods, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. The words she finally manages surprise even her. “What about Connor?”

Oliver’s chuckles vibrate through her body. “Well, I was hoping the date would be just the two of us. I’m pretty sure ‘Aunt Thea’ would love to babysit.” His smile fades into a serious expression. “You’re his guardian, Felicity. He’s known you his whole life and I’m not about to uproot that. Someday I want to be part of his life, but he needs familiarity right now. I do want to spend time with him, but...”

“I get it.” Her hand moves around to stroke his cheek. “And for what it’s worth, I think Connor likes you. And I mean, you can come around whenever you want. I could probably use you to help watch Connor while I’m at work, at least until I get him set up at school. Although, I guess if you wanted to give input, you could. After all, you are his father so you should have some say...”

He cuts her off with another kiss, nibbling on her bottom lip as he pulls back. She hums in contentment. “I think I like when you cut me off like that.”

“I’ll try to remember that,” Oliver mutters, sinking into another kiss like it’s the only thing keeping him alive. It takes all his willpower to pull away again. “Let’s get you home, so Thea can go home and go to sleep.”

Felicity groans, letting him drag her back towards the stairs. On the way, he snags his shirt from the metal table, relinquishing her hand to pull it over his head. She bites her lip as he smirks at her again, pulling her up the stairs behind him.  She follows him back to her car where he stops next to her car.

“So, how does Thursday at seven sound for our date?”

“Thursday?” She frowns, wondering how she’s going to wait until Thursday for a date.

Oliver chuckles. “I was also thinking I could spend the afternoons with Connor and you, so you don’t have to worry about him. But Thursday will be just the two of us.”

“Look at you making plans, Mr. Queen.” She can’t help her happy wiggle as slides into the driver’s seat.  

“I’m going to do this right, this time.”

“You better, because if you mess this up again, all your regained wealth will mysteriously vanish. And I will completely ruin you if you ever hurt Connor.” She scowls threateningly, but it just makes Oliver smile.

“Noted. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Oliver leans in for another kiss, a sweet goodbye, and Felicity smiles the whole way home. The sappy look remains long after Thea leaves to go home. The week has been crazy, an emotional rollercoaster ride, but finally everything feels like it could be falling into place. Tomorrow is already looking brighter.


	2. For the Happiness of All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I have to apologize for the emotional rollercoaster ride I'm about to send you all on. The good news is that there's lots of happy, fluff...the bad news...I don't want to spoil anything, but I'm so so sorry. Please don't hate me!

**For the Happiness of All**

“Seriously, Oliver? What do you have to be nervous about?”

He glances into the mirror to see Thea’s snarky smirk reflected back at him as he adjusts his tie once more, straightening it yet again before finally turning around with a charming smile for his little sister. He can feel the nervous edge to his smile. In truth, he knows he’s being a little crazy. They’ve done all this before” They went on the date, and at least this time he knows no one is after him. The Arrow isn’t in the middle of a mission, and there are no tracking devices on his person. He’s even decided to turn his phone off to be a hundred percent sure nothing will mess this date up.

“You’ve literally been over there every day this week. The only difference tonight is that Connor won’t be there.” Thea smirks as he shifts nervously.

“I know, but that makes all the difference.”

“I swear to God, Ollie, if you mess this up and walk away from her again, I will help her destroy you, and you know I can.”

He doesn’t doubt it with the training he now knows Malcolm gave her, but he simply chuckles, pressing a kiss to Thea’s forehead despite her sinister look. “I’m not running away this time, Speedy. Besides, I think you’d have to get in line at this point.”

“You better not,” she mutters as he brushes past her and walks down the hall.

Oliver paces the kitchen, constantly glancing at the clock, but he knows it’s too soon to leave. It only takes him seven minutes to get from the apartment he and Thea share to Felicity’s. And he can’t justify leaving twenty minutes early, but every moment is ticking by at an impossibly slow pace. Maybe he should leave now and get her flowers...

The clink of glass on the counter brings him back from thoughts of colorful flower shops. She slides a shot of amber liquid at him from across the counter right into his hand. He stares at it for a second before lifting his eyes back to hers.

She shrugs. “You really need to relax.” As if that explains everything.

He sighs and tips back the shot, downing the liquid in one swallow. It burns the back of his throat slightly. He honestly doesn’t know why he’s freaking out. He’s known he loves her since last May, for eight long months. They’ve already had a first date. He knows all about her: her likes and dislikes, her pet peeves, her favorite foods, her daily rituals, her mannerisms. And as she pointed out succinctly last time, she’s already seen him shirtless. Hell, when he kissed her four days ago, he had been shirtless. It felt like their relationship was well past the ‘dating’ stage. As much as he ran from commitment in the past, he wanted it now, with her and with Connor.

Spending the last three days with them, Oliver was about to wee what his life could be like, the endless possibilities. It had only taken Connor a matter of days to worm his way into Oliver’s heart, regardless of his parentage.

His eyes focus on the Christmas tree standing in the center of the loft, that they had picked out yesterday, him and Connor. The boy had been disappointed by the lack of snow in Starling City, so Oliver promised him a tree with all the trimmings. Felicity had refused to let it inot her apartment, saying she was looking for a new house for her and Connor and she wasn’t about to bring in a tree just to pack it up when she moved. Connor had pouted and that was all it had taken for Oliver to promise to host Christmas at his and Thea’s. “Aunt Thea” was ecstatic about the idea. She had already bought all the decorations and as many presents she could get her hands on, claiming she had seven years of spoiling her nephew to catch up on. 

“Oh, wow! Look at that thing on your face! It’s so...wierd!”

Oliver snorts at his litter sister. “You’ve seen me smile before, Speedy.” He rolls his eyes, glancing lazily back at the clock, family thoughts still filling him with warmth.

“Yeah, that doesn’t stop it from being disturbing when you get that sappy look. You’ve been smiling so much lately that it’s almost creepy.”

He finds himself rolling his eyes again as he turns around to place the shot glass in the sink. “Can’t I just be happy, Thea?”

She purses her lips. “You’re just so broody all the time. If I didn’t know why, I’d think you’d been body snatched.”

He chuckles, grabbing his suit jacket and leading the way to the door. “Come on, Speedy! Time to go!”

“Why do you keep saying my name? That’s also kind of creepy. And also, we really shouldn’t be leaving together...”

Her words don’t penetrate Oliver’s happy haze as she denounces his desire to leave early, saying he has to show up exactly on time and then wait graciously until Felicity is ready to leave. And that she should have gone over alone earlier to help. She only stops talking when they reach Ollie’s car and she realizes he’s not listening to anything, preoccupied with thoughts of Felicity and Oliver.

She shoots the extra hair tie from her wrist, hitting him in the temple before he unlocks the car. He pauses, eyes jerking up to meet hers. “What was that for?”

“Did you even listen to a word I just said?”

He smiles sheepishly, running a hand through his hair.

She shakes her head, climbing into the car with a huff. “Why do I even bother?”

He laughs out loud, the kind of laugh she hasn’t heard since he got back from the island. Oliver’s well aware Thea’s both amused and exaggerated eye roll. He’s enjoying the teasing dynamic between the two of them that has been absent for so long. He missed that, he’s missed it for years even though he wouldn’t admit it, least of all to her.

“I’m happy for you. You know that, right?”

Oliver takes in her serious tone, the smile slipping slightly on his face before coming back even larger. “I know.”

“About Felicity and about Connor. You deserve to be happy, Ollie.”

“Thanks, Speedy. Now let’s just pray I don’t mess this up.” He chuckles at himself as he pulls over in front of Felicity’s building, his nerves rising back to the surface as he stares up at her door. On the other side of that white door, she’s getting ready for this date, and it doesn’t matter what she’s putting on because he knows that no matter what she puts on, she’s going to take his breath away. She doesn’t need to do more than walk into a room for his eyes to find her.

Thea squeezes his arm. “You’re going to do fine, Ollie.” She reaches forward and peck his cheek. “Just stop freaking out.”

Oliver follows her out of the car, adjusting his tie and jacket once more before following her up the concrete path to her building and stopping outside her door. He prepares to knock, but Thea walks straight in with a knowing grin thrown over her shoulder at Oliver as he follows her into the space.

“Oliver!”

Connor leaps off the porch to tackle Oliver in a hug. He laughs, wrapping his arms around the boy, throwing him slightly up in the air before throwing him back to land on the couch once more. "Hey, buddy. How’s it going?”

Connor jumps up to his feet, bouncing on the couch cushion in his sock feet. “Great! Aunt Lissy says Aunt Thea is staying with me tonight ‘cause you’re going on a date. Is that true?” His wide blue eyes dance with excitement as he bobs up and down.

Oliver nods solemnly. “Yes. I’m taking your Aunt Lissy on a date. Although I should ask if that’s okay with you, huh?”

“Why would you do that?”

“Well, you’re the most important man in her life, right?”

He pauses in his jumping to think for a moment. “Oh, right...I guess that’s okay, then.”

“Oh, you guess?” Oliver asks, trying to hide the laughter in his voice.

Conner then nods decisively. “Yes. You can, but you have to treat her right. That’s what Jacob told me.”

Oliver nods seriously to his son. “Jacob was right, you know: You have to respect her and not mislead her. And whatever you do, make sure she knows how special she is, how smart and beautiful and amazing. You can’t forget that.”

He smiles at Connor’s wide eyes, but then realizes the boy is staring past him. Oliver turns, breath catching in his throat as his eyes land on Felicity leaning against the wall. Dimly, he’s aware of his sister further down the hall, but his eyes are stuck on the beautiful woman standing in front of him.

Her dress is a stunning dark green, the same color as his Arrow suit which he knows is not a coincidence. As if that wasn’t enough, the only thing not covering her back are thin strips of criss crossing green. The dress is simple and falls to almost her knees, but his mouth is suddenly dry and his tie is too tight.

“You look amazing,” he whispers, taking a step closer. He can’t help the bright smile that blooms on his lips in response to hers.

She tucks a strand of blonde hair behind one ear, smiling up at him. “That’s it?” She smirks at him in amusement, but he can see the desire lurking in her eyes as she takes him in.

“Felicity, you’re remarkable. You’re always remarkable and beautiful and completely brilliant.” With each word he takes a step closer until he’s standing right in front of her, a hand reaching out to gently cup her cheek. “I’m sorry, I don’t say it more.”

She leans into his hand, biting her lip to temper her smile, but it only serves to drag Oliver’s attention back to her bright pink lips pulling him in. His thumb runs over her lower lip, extracting it from under her upper teeth. Her lips part as she stares expectantly up at him. He wants to kiss her right now, to pull her into his arms and never let her go, but he needs to do this right, so he takes a step back.

“We should probably go.” He coughs to cover the hitch in his voice before it returns to his normal tone.  

Thea coughs to cover up a laugh. “Yeah. I don’t think it counts as a date until you at least leave the house.”

“Right.” Felicity shakes her head as if to clear her mind. “We should go...on our date...now.” A nervous laugh escapes. “I mean, that’s good, right? You’re good, here, Thea? Connor? Um, I have the water boiling for mac and cheese for dinner. And he’s allowed one movie tonight, but all the books and games he wants. Bedtime is nine.” She glances back at Oliver, who hasn’t moved since she started talking while she’s moved around the living room, pointing into the kitchen. “What time are we going to be back? I mean, I didn’t ask. I don’t even know what we’re doing. I didn’t even ask. Do you think we’re going to later than that?”

Oliver chuckles, walking over to slip his hand into hers. He lifts her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “We’ll be back later, Thea. Have fun, buddy!” He ruffles Connor’s hair as he guides Felicity to the door with a hand pressed into the nearly-bare small of her back.

“Be good, Connor, and listen to Thea. Got it?” Felicity asks, pulling away from Oliver to pull the boy into a hug and press a kiss to his cheek. “Be a good boy.”

“Have fun, Aunt Lissy!” The boy glances over at Oliver before leaning closer to whisper in her ear.

Oliver spares a look for Thea who fixes him with an amused smirk.  

Felicity rejoins him by the door, grabbing her jacket from the hook by the door, wrapping the pink fabric around her before following Oliver out into the cool Starling City air. His hand finds the small of her back again because it just feels so normal now. After the last two months of pulling back, of guarding his instinct to reach for her, he’s finally allowing himself to react, to touch her at every possible moment. It feels so right that the moment she breaks contact so he can walk around the car to the driver’s seat, the night feels colder to him somehow.

“So where are we going?” Felicity asks once he twists the key in the ignition. “Because you haven’t actually told me, and no offense, but it better not be Italian food. Not that I’m superstitious of anything, but after last time, I don’t really feel like taking the risk. Not that this is a risk. It’s just that with our track record, I might be freaking out a little-“

“Felicity, relax.” He reaches out and grabs her fluttering hand. They haven’t even left the front of her house and she’s already rambling. Would now be an inappropriate time to tell her he loves her again? Oliver takes a deep breath, deciding to save that tidbit for later. A chuckle escapes as he meets her eyes in the dashboard lights and he feels like a teenager again. “I already checked for tracking devices, and my phone’s off so no one can track that either. And no, we’re not going somewhere Italian. And, no, I won’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”

She abruptly shuts her mouth, clamping her lips together as the corners tick up in a slight smile. 

He releases her hand to shift the car into drive and pull out into traffic, but he quickly reclaims it once they are on their way, running his thumb over the back of her hand. She squeezes his hand in response. “You really are just as nervous this time, aren’t you?”

He grimaces at the thought of a repeat of their last date. “Nervous in a different way.” An amused chuckles escapes him. “And like you pointed out last time, what do we have to be nervous about?”

Felicity snorts, shaking her head as she looks away. “And then we got blown up. Seems like there’s more to be nervous about now.”

“I will always keep you safe, Felicity.”

“I know.” She squeezes his hand back. “I never doubted it.”  

His heart warms at the tone of her voice. He has his own doubts about his ability to protect her, but her faith in him is staggering. Lifting their joined hands up to his face, Oliver kisses her knuckles once more before releasing his grasp so he could park the car.

She glances up at the restaurant and then back at him. “Table Salt?”

Oliver is already in motion, walking around the car to help her from the passenger side. He pulls her from the car, yanking her close with a smirk. “I meant it earlier. You are remarkable, Felicity Smoak, and I’m the luckiest man in the world to have you with me right now.”

“You’re a smooth talker, Mr. Queen.”

The smile can’t seem to leave his face, except when he sees the desire lurking in her eyes. He leans forward, hand coming up to stroke her cheek. He knows they should head up the steps and into the restaurant, but this moment is just too perfect as he holds her securely in his arms. Safe and happy: it’s a combination that seemed like a dream mere months ago. So he can’t resist it now: the urge to lean forward and press his lips to hers, creating a searing memory branded into his brain. Her mouth opens under his, arms moving to wrap behind his neck as his band around her waist.

When they part for breath, she pulls further away bringing her hand down to rest on his chest over his heart. His forehead drops to rest against his, raggedly breathing the same air, eyes staring into each other. Oliver sighs, pulling away to guide them inside, knowing that if they don’t enter the restaurant now he will find an excuse to take her somewhere else where they wouldn’t have to stop kissing. Instead, they sit in the warm restaurant, sharing smiles and food with a warm ease he could really get used to.

............

He doesn’t want to stop touching her. All through dinner he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He held her hand over the table, continuing the constant rubbing of his thumb on the back of his hand. He hadn’t realized how important physical contact with her had been until he had spent the last few months studiously avoiding it. Her hands are small in his, but that makes them all the more amazing to him. Her hands are sometimes the only things to take down the bad guys threatening their city. And they’re just the start of what he finds so amazing about her.

“What’s on your mind?” She asks him quietly, squeezing his hand across the table as they wait for the waiter to return with the check.

Oliver smiles at her. “You.” Her cheeks turn a delicious shade of pink and she averts her eyes. “I was thinking about your hands, you typing at your computers, you...pistol whipping your ex-boyfriend in the face.” He chuckles at the memory, proud of his girl.

Her eyes jerk back to his, a smile playing at the corner of her lips. “That was pretty awesome, wasn’t it?”

“It was beautiful,” he whispers back at her.

The waiter brings back the bill and Oliver signs the check before standing once more, helping her into her jacket before leading her out to the car. He holds her door open, intending to do this correctly. He doesn’t lean in for another kiss, simply ushers her into the passenger seat, but Felicity has other ideas.

She turns to face him at the last moment, stepping closer to him, gripping the lapel of his suit to pull him down so she can reach his lisp with hers. He releases the door, resting his hands on her waist to keep her steady as he moves her slowly backward, pressing her back against the side of the car without breaking the kiss. Once again, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing into him until there is no space between them. He lifts a hand to cup her face, coaxing a moan from the back of her throat. It shakes him from the thrall of her lips, allowing him to pull back.

She groans at the distance, lifting her blue eyes to his, lips swollen from their kisses. “Why did you stop?”

He chuckles, stealing another peck just because he can. “I want to do this right, so as much as I want to keep kissing you right now, I’m going to take you to see my favorite spot in the world and then I’m going to take you home so you can sleep in your own bed.”

She sighs, falling back against the car behind her. Her hands slide over his shoulders and down his arms to grasp his calloused hands in her soft ones, intertwining their fingers. “Are you sure-“

“Yes, Felicity, I’m sure. I’m not going to rush this.” It feels like a Herculean task to take a step backwards.

With another sigh, she moves, sliding into the passenger seat reluctantly. He shakes his head at her impatience. Her eyes are glued to him as he circles the car. He refuses to look sideways at her as he starts the car until he can’t avoid it any longer. “Felicity, if you don’t stop looking at me like that, we’re not going to get very far.”

She bites her lip, eyes wandering over him suggestively and more adventurous than he had expected. He groans, running through his mind on loop the promise he had made to keep tonight simple and strictly PG. She wasn’t making this easy on him.

“Fe-li-ci-ty,” he grinds out, staring at her, with wild emotions running through his eyes. He’s trying to reign them in. After months of practice, it should be far easier than it is now.

Finally, she falls back into the seat with a huff of breath. “Fine.” She rolls her head back to face him. “So...you said your favorite place in the world was next?”

Oliver finds himself once again with an unstoppable smile as he shifts the car into gear. “You’re going to love this.”

...........

“Really, Oliver? Do you really need to cover my eyes?”  

He can feel her eyelids flutter under his hands as he maneuvers her into the best spot. “Yes. I want you to get the best view.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re giant teddy bear?” 

A rumble of laughter echoes through his chest at her comment. He leans forward to whisper in her ear. “Okay...you can open your eyes now.”

Oliver drops his hands from her face, enjoying her gasp as she gets a first look at their surroundings. This has been his favorite spot since he was sixteen and had discovered it. Rosling Park sits on the outskirts of Starling, on a little hill. It’s far enough from the city that the lights don’t distort the stars above, but close enough that you can see the entire city lit up below. He first found it when he got his license. He had broken up with Laurel for the third time and had just started driving. He didn’t know why he stopped here, but it turned into his thinking spot. He could sit here and stare at his surroundings for hours. It was a sight he had remembered fondly on long nights on the island. He actually felt at peace here, on the border of wilderness and civilization.

Felicity turns in his arms to look up at him, eyes wide with wonder. “So what is this place?”

“My thinking spot. My sanctuary.” She turns back to the view of the city and he wraps his arms around her waist from behind. “I haven’t been here much since the Island because it’s not really easily defensible, but you can’t beat the view.”

He leans forward again to whisper in her ear, loving how it made her shiver as she leaned into him. He continues, “you can still see the city, but also all the stars. I used to come here to work through all my problems, admittedly usually with some bottle of alcohol or another. Sometimes I brought Tommy and we talked, but the view always managed to take my breath away.”

She hums in agreement, nodding. “It’s beautiful. It feels...peaceful.”

Oliver enjoys the moment, breathing in the fresh air and her arms crossed over his around her waist. It feels right to have her here with him, to have her wrapped in his arms. He finds himself smiling into the crook of her neck and placing a kiss there where her neck meets her shoulder. 

“I thought you wanted to go slowly,” she murmurs, but she tilts her head away to give him better access.

He hums in agreement, reluctantly straightening to put some distance between them. “You’re right. I should get you home.”

Felicity groans as he pulls away, pulling her back to the car with their joined hands. She stops a couple yards from the car and tugs his hand so he turns back to her, stepping closer. “So what was this about?”

He grimaces, shaking his head at himself. She could always see right through him. “After Sara died, you told me you didn’t want to spend your life in the basement; you didn’t want to die down there. I want you to know that I want the same thing for me. I wanted to show you that the Arrow doesn’t rule my life, and I don’t want it to.”

She steps closer, reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He frowns.

“For letting me in.”

“Always.” He leans in again capturing her lips in a kiss. He can’t believe he’s lucky enough to get to kiss her this much in one evening. He’s giddy again, like a teenager in love for the first time, and yet, the depth of his emotion for her is so much deeper than the puppy love of his younger days.

The kiss sweeps them away and this time he lets himself be immersed in her, running his fingers through her silky curls and relishing the hitch in her breath or the desperate way she clings to him while forcing him to give just as much into this kiss.

It’s the trilling of her phone that finally breaks them apart. Felicity pulls the offending phone from her pocket as her eyes flutter open. He doesn’t bother backing up a step as they both glance at the caller ID.  

“It’s Digg,” Felicity supplies rather unnecessarily as she lifts the phone to her ear. “Hey, John. What’s up?”

Oliver listens carefully, able to pick up the words from her phone without trying too hard.

“Is Oliver with you?”

“Yeah, he’s here.”

“We’ve got an issue.”

Her worried eyes meet his. “What is it, John?”

“Someone came after us tonight.”

They both freeze, eyes locking. “What do you mean ‘someone’ came after you tonight?” she repeats.

“I didn’t recognize the guy, but it’s a good thing both Lyla and I were home tonight. We caught him sneaking into Sara’s room. He had a nasty looking blade and several other weapons on him. Lyla’s calling her A.R.G.U.S. contacts, but we haven’t gotten anything on them. We need-“

Oliver is already moving, letting Felicity speak to Diggle as he starts the car. She follows him, juggling the phone to buckle herself into the seat before he takes off, speeding back to the city. She puts the phone on speaker and holds it between them as he navigates the streets with efficiency.

“Lyla is taking Sara with her into A.R.G.U.S. so she’ll be safe, but...”

“What is it, Digg?” Oliver demands as they enter the lights of the city once more, far faster than it would have taken them.

“Oliver, he was dressed like Merlyn. He was a member of the League.”

His hands clench around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white, every curse he knows racing through his head. “Digg, head to the foundry. We’ll meet you there. Call Roy. We need to call Thea and check on Connor.”

Felicity’s eyes widen at the realization. “We’ll meet you there,” Oliver says, pressing the end call button for Felicity. Quieter he tells her, “Felicity, call Thea.”

She frantically dials, leaving the phone on speaker as it rings, chewing on her nails as she waits for Thea to pick up.

“If you’re calling to find out if I can sleep here, the answer is yes,” Thea drawls into the phone.

“Thea! Is Connor alright? Have you seen anyone around?” Felicity’s voice rises in pitch, growing frantic, until Oliver reaches out and grasps her wrist, thumb brushing her pulse point.

“Thea, I need you to check on Connor,” Oliver growls into the phone, aware of his Arrow voice leaking out.

He hears movement on the other end of the line. “Oliver? What’s going on?”

“There was an attack tonight on Digg’s family. It was a member of the League of Assassins.”

“He’s fine. He’s safe, asleep in his bed.” Thea lets out a sigh of relief. “I’ll stay with him until you get back.”

“Thea, we’re talking about trained assassins-“

“And I was trained by one of them. Malcolm trained me just as he was trained. I can protect your son, Ollie.”

“I’m going to send Roy over just in case.” 

“Does this mean you’re going out tonight?”

Oliver nods before remembering she can’t see him. “We’re on our way to the foundry now. If the League is coming here as an act of war, we need to know.” He sighs. “We’ll talk about moving Connor somewhere more secure. Will you be okay?”

“I’ll check in every half an hour, Ollie. Felicity, don’t worry. I can take care of him.”

“We’re at the foundry. Thea...good luck.”  

“You too.” The line clicks off and Oliver climbs from the car, already in his Arrow mindset, Felicity following on his heels as they descend into the basement.

“Oliver, what do you think they’re after? Do you think they’re actually going after Connor?”

He turns back to her, stepping close and cupping her face. “If this is Nyssa’s way of declaring war, I just want to be sure. I would bring him here, but I don’t want him exposed to this. We’ll figure this out.” He presses a kiss to her forehead, allowing himself only that small bit of comfort before pushing away to grab his suit.

He vanishes into the bathroom, only sparing a look towards Felicity as she drops into her chair, already clacking away at her computers. Well, at least this time, their date wasn’t interrupted by an explosion. When he exits the bathroom, Roy and Diggle are milling around restlessly, but he ignores them to squeeze Felicity’s shoulder. He leans down to whisper in her ear.

“I had fun tonight. I am sorry this interrupted us.”

Felicity lifts a hand to squeeze his back. She smiles up at him. “Let’s just make sure everyone’s safe.” She smiles lightly. “As long as you’re not planning on running away again.”

“Never.” He leans down kissing her cheek, before pulling on his Arrow persona. “But we have work to do now.”

She nods, twisting back to the computer. “Well, the League tends to operate outside of my realm. And by that I mean the internet. I’m searching through video footage around Digg’s house, but they’re good at avoiding cameras too.” She scowls at her screen.

Oliver squeezes her shoulder. “Relax. We’re going to find them and we’re going to stop them, before they get any further.”

He turns to Digg and Roy. “Roy, join Thea at Felicity’s apartment. If they went after Digg’s family, they’re probably coming after the rest of you too. Be careful.”

Roy nods, disappearing up the stairs two at a time.

“Digg, did you recognize-“

“No, but there was only one. Lyla shot him in the shoulder. There was a good amount of blood, but he probably didn’t die of it. A.R.G.U.S. is analyzing the sample, but I don’t know how helpful that will be. Not much is known about the League.”

“Then let’s go back to your place, see if we can find something.” He wraps his hand around his bow and shifting his quiver over his shoulder. “Will you be okay down here?”

Felicity glances back at him, nodding. “We’ve cracked down on security here, so the League shouldn’t be able to get in.”

“Maybe you should come with us. Nyssa was able to get in last time-“

“And I made this place impenetrable after you declared war on the League, Oliver. You, Digg and Roy helped. There’s no way they could get in here now. Besides, if they do, I’m pretty much a goner anyway. At least here, I’m in one place and can act as a central command.”

“I don’t like the idea of you staying here alone.” He doesn’t like the idea of leaving her alone, waiting for an uncertain future. It feels too much like what happened with Slade and he’s suddenly assaulted by memories how painful it was to leave her there.

She pushes away from her desk, spinning before standing in front of Oliver. “Hey! This isn’t like last time. I’m safe here, not just waiting around to get kidnapped by a madman. We need to find out who’s after us to make the city, to make _our family_ , safe. And I can work best here. I’ll be fine. I promise.” Rising on tiptoe, she presses a kiss to his cheek. Pulling back, her eye bore into Oliver’s, brimming with determination and confidence. “Now, go.”

He grits his teeth, but her hand on his cheek loosens his muscles with a single caress. He slowly releases a breath, bringing his forehead to rest against hers, closing his eyes to brace himself for what he must do. He takes a deep breath, galvanizing himself before he turns on his heel and leads Diggle out of the basement. He needs to do this. He needs Felicity and Connor to be safe. He needs his whole team to be safe. And he will fight to make sure that happens.

..........

Last time there had been that dirt sample they had been able to use to locate the Assassin’s base. Oliver’s starting to realize just how much of a lucky break that actually was. There is nothing in Diggle’s apartment: only the assassin’s blood. No weapons to trace the origins of, no dirt particles that he can see. The assassin didn’t even break the window to gain entry.

Oliver’s hand digs into his bow, gritting his teeth against his own uselessness. He’s lost. This is his family under attack and suddenly he doesn’t seem able to do anything helpful. A glance at Diggle tells him everything he needs to know: he hasn’t found anything either. He wants to punch something. He wants to rage against the world. If he was superstitious, he would think the universe was opposed to him having any sort of happiness. He would be punching something right now if he wasn’t in Digg’s house. He couldn’t do that to Digg.

So, instead, he pushes away from the broken window and surveys the room once more. “Let’s go over this again.” And he moves through the room again, going over every bit of evidence he can find, searching for the one thing that can lead them to this threat, the one thing that could help them get the League out of his city. This was his fault. He had started this months ago when he refused to let Nyssa kill Malcolm. He is this city’s protector and he above all, he needs to make sure his team is safe, his _family_ is safe.

“So...he came in through his window, right?” Oliver moves back to the shattered window, taking in the scene, trying to move in the intruder’s supposed footsteps.

“Ri-“ The ringtone from his phone cuts off Diggle’s answer.

Oliver rips the phone from his pocket, lifting it to his ear. “What is it?” His eyes are still trained on the room, searching for clues.

“Oliver!”

The panic in Roy’s voice chills Oliver’s blood. “What is it?”

“They came here, Oliver. They got in...They knocked me out. Thea’s injured. There’s a lot of blood, but...they took him, Oliver. They took Connor.”

Suddenly his world is engulfed in red. “When?” The word is garbled, growled out between gritted teeth. He can feel Diggle’s eyes, but he’s already moving, one foot in front of the other with Felicity’s apartment the only destination in mind.

“I don’t know. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes ago.”

“I’m on my way. Get on the comms.”

“No!” Felicity’s voice shouts in his ear. He can hear her pain in the way her voice cracks and her breathy inhales. She sniffles. “Roy, can you get Thea back here?”

“Yes. She’s injured, but I can get her to the foundry.”

“Good. Oliver, Roy, Digg, get back here. We make a plan going forward. You didn’t find anything at Digg’s, so let’s stop wasting time.”

“Felicity-“

“NO! Oliver, we are doing this my way. Get back here now! Connor is with the League and God knows what he’s doing. We don’t have the time to waste fighting about this. I’m already working on this. Just get back here to regroup. NOW!”

His nails cut into the palms of his hands, unnerved by Connor’s disappearance and the strangled quality of Felicity’s voice. The pain drags him from his haze enough that he can climb on his bike and navigate the streets back to the Foundry, barely stopping to park the bike. Thea’s car has a door left open that he manages to swing shut before racing down the stairs, pushing back his hood and lowering his mask.

He barely pauses on the last couple steps as he witnesses Roy and Felicity holding down his little sister. A screams rips from her lips as Felicity cleans the wound with a grimace. But Felicity keeps working, already moving for the stitches. Roy pales at the sight of the needle, but Digg pushes past him to take the needle from Felicity. She turns away, wiping the red blood off on to a ratty towel.

He finally gets a look at her face. Her mascara and eyeliner is streaked down her cheeks from tears that are still falling down her cheeks. Still, he can easily recognize the determined steel in her blue eyes as they meet his. Without thinking he pulls her into a fierce hug. This is why she’s his girl: she cares so much about everyone, but she’s still fiercely there until the mission is over.

“We’re going to get him back,” he whispers into her hair, rubbing circle into her back as she sobs into his vest.

“They left Thea with a message,” she whispers back, choking a little on the words. He pulls slightly back, tilting her head up to make eye contact. She swallows and continues. “They said Ras Al Ghul sends his regards, and if you want to see Connor again, you have to hand over Malcolm Merlyn. If you don’t, Connor will only be the first casualty.”

His fingers dig into her shoulder at the news. “Hey. I won’t let anything happen to Connor. I promise.”

“Oliver, these guys, they weren’t playing around,” Thea interrupts, forcing herself to her feet. She manages to stand for a second before her left leg gives out and only Roy catching her stops her from being reacquainted with the floor. “Ollie, they’re serious. And they’re good. I don’t know if you can beat them.”

Oliver nods, glancing around at his team. “I have to try. Did they give you a location?”

She nods, frowning a little as she struggles to remember. “They said something about where Nyssa first stayed...I don’t know.”

Oliver closes his eyes, remembering a year ago when Nyssa first followed Sara back to Starling. With only a deep breath to brace himself for what has to be done, Oliver checks his quiver and starts towards the stairs, stopping on the bottom step. His eyes land on Felicity’s and he can already see the understanding in her eyes. She pulls him in for a kiss.

“Bring him back,” she whispers against his lips before returning to her computers.

Roy and Digg step up. Oliver holds up his hand. “I need you to stay here.”

“Oliver, you can’t possibly justify that. You need us there-“

“No, Roy, you’ve already been injured. And I need you here. I need you to protect the Foundry. You and Digg.” He turns back to the stairs. “I need to find Malcolm.”

“Ollie!” Thea screams behind him. “You’re not going to do it, are you? You’re not going to hand him over. You can’t!”

He turns around and meets her eyes from halfway up the stairs. He doesn’t know for sure what he’s intending to do. He’s torn. If killing Malcolm could save his son, would he do it? The Oliver from the Island would without a second thought, but he had sworn that there would be no more killing. But Malcolm, as a former member of the League of Assassins, has the best chance of winning against the members who took his son. 

He grits his teeth and taps his bow against the metal railing as he thinks. “I’m not going to sacrifice him, but he’s my best chance. Do you know where he is?”

Thea pauses, biting her lower lip as she obviously contemplates her options.

“He’s right outside,” Felicity supplies, turning from the computers. “He’s staring straight at our cameras. I think he’s looking for you.”

Oliver nods, on the move once more. He clears his mind to prepare for battle as he wrenches open the door. Malcolm moves towards him, already dressed for battle with a bow in hand. He advances, but Oliver pushes past him, pulling up his hood.

“Follow me,” he growls.

“Where’s Thea?” Malcolm demands.

“She’s fine. She’s downstairs with the rest of my team. Safe.”

“The League is here and they’re-“

“I know.” His anger gets the better of him and he stops short, spinning around to face him. “They have my son, and they’re going to kill him unless I hand you over to Ras Al Ghul.”

Malcolm’s eyes harden at the new information and he steps back to assess Oliver’s intentions. 

Oliver scowls. “I’m not going to kill you, but you’re going to help me get him back. They’re in a warehouse by the docks. Come on.”

“And why should I help you, Oliver? What have you ever done for me?”

Oliver slams him into the wall, holding his arm against Malcolm’s neck. “I declared war on the League to save your life, so you’re going to do this. If my son is hurt, I’ll make sure you feel every wound.”

“I thought you weren’t killing anymore, Oliver.”

“For my son, there’s not much I wouldn’t do.”

Malcolm stills at the words, but Oliver is already moving again, out to his bike. He now has his goal and a plan of action, as simple and crazy as the plan might be. Behind him, Malcolm follows at a distance reluctantly, but at least he follows. Oliver is already thinking ten steps ahead as he swings a leg over his bike. He can’t afford to lose this war he started. There’s too much at stake now.

..........

The warehouse looks the same as the last time, when Sara almost killed herself so that she wouldn’t have to return to the League of Assassins, which was expected from an abandoned warehouse. Oliver ignores it, pulling his bow from his back and loading it as an assassin appears at the warehouse entrance.

“The Demon is waiting for you,” the figure whispers in a raspy voice, stepping to the side of the door. 

He glances back at Malcolm before stepping into the dim interior of the warehouse. They’re not clearly visible, but Oliver can sense the assassins lurking in the shadows. And right in the center stands three shadowed figures, the smallest Connor’s height. He pauses as Nyssa lifts her short sword to Connor’s neck. The boy lets out a startled whine and Oliver relaxes a little just knowing he’s still alive.

“You can stop where you are, Arrow. You’ve brought what we wanted. Give him to us and the boy will live.” Nyssa’s voice floats through the warehouse, echoing off the walls. “You know you cannot win this fight.”

Oliver’s eyes scan the warehouse, counting at least ten assassins on the walls of the warehouse plus Nyssa, the man at the entrance, and the man on the other side of Connor. Considering the man outside has said the Demon was waiting, the odds aren’t looking that great. Oliver throws his hood back, meeting Nyssa’s eyes.

“You don’t want to do this, Nyssa.”

“He killed Sara. He deserves to die.”

“He’s not the one who killed Sara.”

“But he killed hundreds of innocents, which goes against our code. His life is forfeit.” The man speaks, light glinting off the ornaments hanging from his cloak. His hand rests on the hilt of his sword. “If you have aligned yourself with him, your life is also forfeit as is the life of this child.”

“Connor has nothing to do with this. Your quarrel is with us.” Oliver gestures to Malcolm beside him. They stand back to back, Malcolm’s eyes scanning the warehouse.

“Then the boy will be the last to die.” His hand twitches and suddenly the assassins are moving, flying from the shadows as Oliver flows into motion.

His battle instincts take over, removing the excess time to think. He shoots arrows just as much as he uses his bow as a battery weapon. The battle is far from easy, but Oliver’s conscious of the fact that Nyssa and her father haven’t moved from their spots with Connor still standing between them.

“Oliver, what’s going on?” Felicity asks in his ear.

“I’m a little busy, Felicity.” He ducks a punch, spinning out to deliver a solid punch to his opponent’s face before sending an arrow into another enemy. The second assassin goes down hard, arrow embedded in his shoulder, but Oliver is already pulling the comm from his ear as he maintains fighting.

He can feel the bruises blossoming on his skin from hits he can’t block, and a few cuts leaking thin streams of blood that flow down his limbs, but the pain simply absorbs itself into his consciousness. He doesn’t let it slow him down. The grunts of moans of pain around him are white noise, the thud of bodies a simple sound. But even in the heat of battle, he remembers his promise. Not a single shot, a single jab is fatal. He doesn’t have time to turn back to Malcolm, but he’s sure the man isn’t following the same principles. 

He loses his last arrow and drops the bow in favor of one of the assassin’s fighting sticks, stepping in Nyssa’s path as she moves to engage Malcolm.

“Get out of my way, Queen!” Her eyes are flinty in anger, consumed by a desire for revenge. She strikes out and Oliver counters.

He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up. Fighting Sara had always been a challenge, and quite frankly, he’s surprised he’s doing this well against the people who trained her without resorting to killing.

“Why are you defending the man who killed her? He will only turn on you later, and you will be forced to kill him.”

Oliver blocks her overhead strike. “I’ll find another way.”

She laughs mirthlessly at him. “You have a good heart, Oliver Queen, and that will be your undoing.”

He doesn’t know how she manages to fight and talk so much. It’s enough to make him wonder if she’s playing with him. He’s already breathing hard, trying to keep up with Nyssa, but he’s doing this for his son. Oliver won’t give up with his son’s life on the line. He can’t. His body might be beaten, bleeding, and broken, but he will move Heaven and Earth for the sake of his kid.

Suddenly, Malcolm is there, kicking Nyssa back a step. He points his bow at Ras Al Ghul. “You want me? Come kill me yourself.”

“My daughter has asked for that honor.”

Nyssa pulls herself back up into a standing position, adjusting her grip on her sword. Oliver steps between them as everyone else in the room scowls.

“Oliver. Get. Out. Of. The. Way.” Nyssa grits out between clenched teeth, her words full of intent to kill.

“I won’t let him die for something he didn’t do.”

“This is my fight, Oliver.” Malcolm steps around him. “They hurt my daughter. They will suffer for that.”

“If you want to fight, Archer, you can fight me.”

His blood runs cold as the Demon steps forward.

“Father...”

“I am intrigued by the man who can take on members of my League without killing and win. I want to see just what he’s capable of.”

Oliver looks past him to lock eyes with his son. Connor’s eyes are wide open, the same blue that he sees in the mirror every day. His eyes travel back to Ras Al Ghul, straightening despite the creak in his muscles.

“If I win, you will leave my city, and my people, alone.” He doesn’t think he can win. He’s perfectly aware of how out of his league Ras Al Ghul is. The chances he will win this are slim to none.

Ras laughs, throwing his head back, but the sound is far from pleasant. It sounds cold, like nails against a chalkboard. Despite his training, the sound sends a chill running through his blood. “ _If_ you win, I will be dead, and you cannot kill me, Oliver Queen. But if you die valiantly in battle, I shall consider sparing the child’s life, although that may not be a mercy.”

“As long as he gets home safe,” Oliver bargains, dropping into a fighting stance.

Ras tilts his head to the side, contemplating. He doesn’t give an answer before he moves, almost faster than humanly possible. Oliver is left simply reacting to each strike in an effort to save his own life. He needs to survive this, this brutal beating, to guarantee his son’s life. He needs to _win_ , and unfortunately he’s not sure he can even do that.

...........

Every moment is a burning agony, every strike hurts him just as much as any pain he could even hope to inflict. He’s lost track of how much liquid running down his body is blood and how much is sweat. His breath comes quickly and the lethargy is finally catching up with him. Oliver’s pretty sure the adrenaline is the only thing keeping him upright, the thoughts of Felicity and Connor the only things keeping him moving.

Ras is actually smiling at him as the fight continues, almost laughing into the red abyss of death and violence surrounding them. Oliver would never have wanted his son exposed to this, especially at such a young age.

At some point, he got his hands on a sword. He’s fairly certain it happened when Ras splintered one of his fighting sticks, but the whole fight is blending together in his mind. He can barely tell what’s up and what’s down. Directions have no meaning to him anymore.

He’s finally on the offensive, but he’s not sure if it’s just because Ras is playing with him, taunting him, giving him a false sense of hope. Oliver decides to take advantage of an opening and runs his acquired short sword through the Demon’s abdomen. He recognizes the foolhardiness of still avoiding killing strikes, but he’s worked hard not to kill again and he needs to do this to prove to himself that he can.

In a move that Oliver can’t follow, Ras spins him around, forcing him to his knees with a blade pressed to his throat. He closes his eyes, taking deep breaths, waiting for the blade to cut into his neck.

The raspy voice chuckles once more, in genuine amusement this time. “I am impressed. You have lasted longer than most without taking a kill shot, even when it was your only opening. It takes far more discipline to fight an opponent without killing...So let’s make a deal, Mr. Queen.”

.........

“Oh my god! Oliver! Connor!”

Oliver pushes the boy forward into Felicity’s embrace as she rushes to meet them in the Foundry basement. She falls to the floor to embrace the boy, tears streaming down her face once more. Her eyes lift to his, gratitude flowing nearly as much as tears. He nods, not needing her to speak, but the knowledge of the cost leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

“We need to look at those wounds,” she says, moving forward to Oliver.

He nods, too tired to fight her as he hobbles over to the medical table. His vest is gone, shredded in the fight to the point that it simply fell off him. Shallow cuts criss-cross his entire body, but he lets Felicity clean them, glancing around for Diggle, Roy, and Thea.

“Where is everyone?”

Felicity meets his eyes. “Roy took Thea back to your apartment. He’s staying with her. And Diggle had to go check on Lyla and Sara. I already let them know you’re alive.” She swallows thickly and he can see the thousands of questions in her eyes, but she doesn’t ask.

She works silently, her fingers gently probing his injuries and patching as she goes.

“Aunt Lissy, Oliver’s the Arrow?” Connor asks, walking closer, wide eyes staring at all the blood.

“Yeah, buddy, I’m the Arrow.” He grimaces as Felicity presses against his bruised ribs, letting out a hiss at the pain. She pauses, fingers cool against his bruised skin, giving him so much comfort in the face of so much pain. “I’m-“

“Don’t you dare say you’re fine, because that’s obviously a lie. How could you be?”

“Hey.” He covers her hand, wishing he never had to let go, that he could stay there, basking in her presence. He squeezes her hand. “You’ve taken care of the worst of it.”

“Are you sure?”

He nods. “Why don’t we get some rest?”

Her eyes continue to bore into his, telling him she doesn’t believe a word he’s said, but she follows his eyes back to Connor. The kid’s impressed him so far. Even with everything he’s seen tonight, Connor stayed strong. He hasn’t broken down crying or shaking, but he’s remained calm. Oliver keeps waiting for him to start crying, to break down in some visible way.

She moves away from him to squat in front of Connor. “How are you doing, Connor? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine.”

She huffs in disbelief, checking him over for any sign of injury. Oliver swears he hears her mutter, “just like your father.” He nearly chuckles at the idea. He likes that. He likes the idea that he’s leaving some sort of legacy.

“Hey, Connor, what do you say we head back to Aunt Lissy’s so you can get to bed?” He pushes himself from the med table despite Felicity’s dark look.

He nods somberly.

“Good. You need your sleep.”

“Oliver...” Felicity’s eyes search his, but he just nods.

“It’s okay.” He swallows through the lump in his throat. “You’ll be safe. You don’t have to worry about the League.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He presses a kiss to her temple, grabbing a t-shirt from the table and pulling it over his head. “They won’t be coming after any of you. Let’s get you home.” He gently prods her forward with a hand at her lower back. “Come on, buddy. I don’t know about you, but I could really use a nice warm bed to sleep in.”

Connor slips his tiny hand into Oliver’s and they walk slowly up the stairs, Felicity trailing behind, turning off lights. He marvels at her composure, at her absolute faith in him, in what he just told her. He can see the curiosity, but her trust is implicit and humbling.

Once they reach her apartment, she forces him to sit on the couch while she checks on the damage to the apartment. The damage seems to be confined to Connor’s room, including the pool of Thea’s blood soaked into the beige carpet, so Felicity moves him into her room, putting him to bed quickly, before returning to the living room where she sits on the coffee table facing Oliver on the couch.

He reaches out, wrapping his hands around hers and running a thumb over her knuckles.

“So, do you wanna tell me what happened?” Her voice barely raises above a whisper. She stares at their joined hands until he lifts one to brush her loose hair back behind her ear. The motion causes her to lift her eyes to his. He can see the pleading look in her eyes, the tears brimming in her eyes.

A sigh escapes him and he runs a thumb over her cheek. “You don’t want to know. Just know we made it back alive.”

“But Oliver, what did you have to do?”

He knows she’s worried about him, about what he had to do. “I didn’t kill anyone, and I got us out of there.”

“But how? The League of Assassins wouldn’t let you go unless you just handed Malcolm over and you said you wouldn’t do that. So that means-“

“Felicity,” he whispers, closing his eyes against the truth. “Merlyn escaped, but I made a deal.”

“What kind of deal? It has to be pretty bad. They let you out alive. They wouldn’t do that unless you promised something huge. Oliver, you could have died. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have made the deal, but are you sure it’s something you can give?”

“Fe-li-ci-ty. It was my deal to make. And it ensures that you, all of you, are safe from the League of Assassins. They won’t be coming after you. That’s all you need to know.” He leans forward, resting his forehead against hers, breathing slowly.

“What aren’t you telling me?” He grimaces at the pain in her voice, cupping her face in his hands.

Everything. He opens his eyes again to meet hers. “Please, Felicity. I...I can’t...I had to protect you and Connor. It’s the only thing that got me through the fight. You have to promise me that you won’t get mad.”

She laughs sadly. “Now, I know that it’s going to be bad if you’re saying that.”

He wishes so much that he didn’t agree with that statement, but he doesn’t want to keep secrets from her either. He wishes he didn’t have to do this. He wishes...

His lips are suddenly desperately pressed to hers. He doesn’t remember moving or making a conscious decision. He’s just suddenly kissing her. She responds just as urgently, moving closer until she’s straddling his lap, pressed up against him. He hands his arms around her waist just reveling in the feel of her soft body pressed against his.

He pulls away for air a moment later, brushing away the tears now leaking out from under her eyelids.

“Why did that feel like goodbye?” she whispers against his lip. He wrestles with his own tears, pressing another kiss to her lips. “What deal did you make, Oliver? What did you promise?”

Oliver finally opens his eyes to look into hers. He takes a deep breath. “I’m going to be gone for a while, but you’ll be safe and that’s all that matters.”

“Oliver!”

“That’s all that matters to me.” He pulls her closer, into a hug. “I need you to be safe, more than anything else. I need you safe.”

Everything about her presence comforts him, from her feel to the smell of her shampoo in her hair. He rocks her slowly until they drift off to sleep in the same position, tangled in each other, taking comfort. He wakes before dawn, Felicity still curled in his arms. He savors the sensation for a moment before shifting to carry her in his arms back to her room.

Each shift sends aches and stabs of pain through his body, repercussions from the previous night’s fight, but he walks steadily into her room, laying her on the bed next to Connor and tucking her under the covers. He presses another kiss to her lips and then one to Connor’s forehead, running a hand through his son’s hair before turning away.

He blinks back the tears, as he leaves without glancing back. If he glances back, he’s not going to be able to leave and he has to leave because he made a deal with the Demon...

_“...Let’s make a deal, Mr. Queen.” Ras cackled, excitement lacing his voice. “Your life for the lives of your people. We’ll spare the boy and the rest of your team, the rest of your city if you come with us...If you don’t I will kill each and every one of your team slowly and painfully before your eyes starting with the boy. It’s your choice, Mr. Queen.”_

Oliver fights back bitter tears at the memory, but he knows there was no choice to make. He would always choose to save his family, to save her, and to save his son. He straightens as he walks down the sidewalk to the car parked outside and the waiting Heir to the Demon. He slides into the back seat, a mask of stone settling into his face as the mantra plays on repeat in his mind, the mantra that drives him through months of relentless training in Nanda Parbat, the mantra that convinces him he will one day make it back:

_There was no choice to make._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So about halfway through this chapter, I realized I have trouble writing happy endings for longer works...On the bright side, I am going to do a follow-up fic that takes place a couple months later, so YAY! 
> 
> Please PLEASE let me know what you think!! Comment, bookmark, leave kudos, yell at me in the comments if it makes you feel better because I put myself through the emotional wringer with this one too. And try not to hate me too much for doing that. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you liked this! Please PLEASE comment/bookmark/leave kudos to let me know what you think!! I appreciate any and all feedback!!


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